Playing, With God

This post is sort of about the new EP from Trinity, but it's not exactly a review. It's more sort of about my experience listening to it. But, as you read it, my impression of it should be clear. (Spoiler - I like it. A lot.) To set the scene, last night I was on Facebook and I saw something from Lana Vawser about just spending time with God and basically appreciating His presence. I was at home on my own, so I thought what better time than now, and I thought I'd listen to this:-

(Colours is actually one of the songs, but this is what the cover looks like - it was the best pic I could find)

So I turned off the computer and turned on the CD, and just sat  - with God. And I experienced His presence. But not in a kind of overwhelming way. He was absolutely, definitely there, but in a sort of quiet way, like I could just spot Him out of the corner of my eye, as it were. It kind of felt like He was dancing around, coming close then jumping back just out of reach laughing, and with a sparkle in His eyes. The word that sums it up for me is 'playful' - which is where the idea for the title came from.

I like the whole thing - which is why I've been listening to it on repeat since then, and not got tired of it. Partly, I think, this is because each of the songs are so different. At least, that's how they sound to me. But here are some thoughts and/or impressions from some of them.

'River Run', the title track is, to me, both gentle and poetic. It reminded me of a poem I read about people without hope - except here, there is Hope. And an invitation.
'First Love', another one sung by Jules Woodbridge, is beautifully passionate. It reminds me of an album written and recorded by a Christian couple just after a personal tragedy, where they sung about trusting God and relying on Him, and you could feel that they meant it. That it meant something to them. And in the same way (though completely different), this song makes me feel that Jules knows Jesus. She loves Him, and she knows she loves Him; and this comes across so strongly.
'Colours' (mainly) by Jemima Woodbridge, who is clearly developing into a great (singer and) songwriter, on the strength of this; but it resonates with me for personal reasons. I've been thinking a lot about art and creativity recently (yes, more than usual), and this goes right along with that; that anywhere there is beauty, there God can be known.
And 'Grace Has Won', sung by Josh Chesworth and Becky Bull, which feels to me somewhat like a hymn. Which is definitely a good thing. There are lots of great hymns with fantastic words and tunes, and this has something of that to it. Plus it has Becky singing, which is always a good thing, so I'll leave you with that. Enjoy...

Love, Tolerance, And Polish People

If you read a lot of stuff online, you will probably see a lot of people being intolerant, all over the place. And you will see a lot of people proclaiming tolerance as a great virtue. Sometimes (often?) the same people. So how does that work?

Well, possibly because tolerance isn't actually a virtue at all. I did think about calling this post 'Tolerance Isn't A (Christian) Virtue'; but I hope to be more positive than that. I once heard of a great example of the difference between love and tolerance from someone I used to work with. I used to work in a shop wih a guy called Maciej - nice guy, very friendly, spoke English really well. Probably better than some English people I know. So, when he mentioned to me one day that he had come to this country partly in order to improve his English, I was quite surprised; I couldn't see that it really needed improving. And a bit later, someone else mentioned that he had asked him to pick him up on his English whenever he said something wrong. And I realised that that is what the difference is.

I was quite happy with his English - 98% of the time he was perfectly understandable, and because of this, I didn't pick him up on it. But, unless people did that, his English wouldn't improve any more. And he wanted it to. It's a bit like patriotism. A lot of people think of 'patriotism' as being something along the lines of 'my country right or wrong is always right'; but, really, what it should be is 'my country is great, but it could be better if we did...' - again the same difference, love or tolerance. And it also brings to mind the fact that love is hard; it requires effort. And taking the time to pay attention to people.

love is hard

So, what about tolerance, then? Well, I still work in a shop, and I think of tolerance like this. We get Polish people come in sometimes, and sometimes, when I ask them if they need any help, they say 'just watching' instead of 'looking' (as an aside, do you English speakers know exactly what the difference is? Hmm). So, obviously, I immediately pick them up on that. Or, actually, not. But, you might say, that's just politeness. Yes, exactly. Which is why I say tolerance isn't a virtue. However, love is. And respect. And even politeness. So work on those - and other virtues.

love is hard... but it is worth it

Friends And Relationships

I have had several conversations recently that have stood out to me for different reasons. Different people, different circumstances have all pointed up things I may need to know, to pay attention to.

Friday
I had a conversation with one friend about a relationship I was having problems with, and forgiveness came up. Later, I met up with another friend, and he was talking about a talk he'd heard recently, which was talking about forgiveness and how it needs to work. Which made a lot of sense, and was really helpful at the time. And another thing he said was about the blog - that my strongest posts were ones where I was talking about ideas, rather than what I've been up to. Which is something I've been trying to do more of since then.

Saturday
Work as usual was followed by a BBQ to celebrate a friend's birthday. Which was really nice - one of the nicest evenings I've had in quite some time. Chilling with a bunch of friends, and a lot of silliness was the order of the day. And I managed to have a long, rambling conversation with the person I am having problems with. Which is a very good sign.

Sunday
A nice relaxing afternoon, where I wrote a poem about the previous evening. Which is good - writing is always good. And in the evening, we had a speaker talking about Compassion UK at church, and I thought about my sponsored child, who I haven't been in touch with for a while now. I was chatting with a friend, and she was saying that she was the same, that she hadn't written to hers for even longer. So we both came away feeling that that was something we needed to attend to - I haven't done it yet. I also met someone new at church who was just sponsoring a child, and met up with an old friend who is a Compassion advocate; it was good to see her, to catch up for a bit, and to find out what's new in her life.

Tuesday
I went round to see a couple of friends in the evening. They live pretty near me, and they have invited me to come round often; but I don't often take them up on it - the last time I went round was just after my birthday. But it's always a nice evening when I do go round; and this was no exception. There was a lot of laughter, and we talked about poetry, which is always a good thing.

Thursday
Two conversations stood out today; one on Street Teams and one with a friend a bit later.The first one was with a guy called Darren, who started talking about basically ghost stories that had happened to him. He said sometimes he felt that someone or something was trying to get through to him, and I just felt this nudge to suggest he asked God to speak to him. He said he felt that was a good idea, that he used to pray, and he felt he should get back to it; and also that he wanted to read the Bible more, and asked if he could ask me if he had any questions about it. I agreed, as long as he doesn't expect me to have all the answers, and he said that was fine. So I look forward to hearing more about what he finds. And the other was with a friend, to discuss an idea I had to start a Christian publisher. He was very encouraging, and suggested the next step was to pray about a mission statement, so I've been doing that.

Sunday
Sunday morning was the celebration of the dedication of Adelaide Read, and led to lots of generally quite chatty and relaxing conversations - celebration is always good. And in the evening I was chatting to a couple who may want to get involved with Street Teams. Which would be good, as we may well be losing a few members over the next few months.

So, all sorts of different conversations that made me think in some way about (my) relationships. Relationships both show you something of who you are, and to a certain extent shape you too. And the fact that mine are so varied is almost certainly a good thing. And thinking about them has brought certain things to mind. For instance, that relationships work best when you are able to just be in each others' company. However, conversely, they only really grow when you make the effort to actually do things together, to spend time together; it doesn't just happen. But, most importantly, they are one of the things that make life worth living.

Thoughts For The Day!

Here's a few thoughts I want to remember. I think they are worth remembering, and I think God wants me to bear them in mind - always. I thought you might like to hear them...

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was that you will regret more the things you didn't do than the ones you did; and, overall, I think that's true. Certainly the more things I do and don't do, the more this seems to be the case. Now, obviously, this doesn't mean that everything I do works out well; sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, and some things don't work out at all. But missed opportunities are one of the most frustrating and annoying things you can ever have. Going through life, you will not escape from wishing certain things could have been otherwise; thinking 'if only' is bad enough, but thinking 'what if' when you know that something was in your hands to change, and you didn't take it is much worse. It's only slightly a problem with things like going to a party or going out with friends when you hear later that they had a great time; but it's a lot more so when it's something like a job, or a mission trip, or moving house. And, more to the point, the more you say 'yes' makes it easier to say 'yes' next time. Saying 'yes' to small things also makes it easier to say 'yes' to bigger things; and, ultimately, makes all decisions seem easier to make. Saying 'yes' more doesn't mean that you stop saying 'no', but it might make it more likely to be a choice rather than a reaction.

The flipside of this, in a way, is something God has said to me time and time again in different circumstances; and that is that doing something is better than doing nothing. This is applicable to all sorts of situations, and in different ways.  It could be that you are surrounded by a set of difficult circumstances, which aren't getting any better on their own. It could be that you don't know how to do something or quite what to do, so you may procrastinate (that's a good word). It could be that you are waiting for something to happen, you just aren't sure what. Sometimes it is just that you can't decide what to do, that doing something is better...

Which leads me on to another thing that God has been particularly saying to me recently. About various things. That in certain circumstances (almost certainly a lot more often than I would like), He really doesn't mind what we/I choose. Just that we/I choose. Choosing something rather than just reacting, or, even worse, just doing nothing and being unhappy about something while vaguely hoping that things will change is better. Just because choosing gets you involved, it wakes you up, as it were. And, even if it turns out to be a bad decision, you're still thinking-and can change things. Choosing is one of the best decisions you can make and actions you can take. Choosing to choose is always going to be good (for you).

And, lastly, remember that if a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing. This seems obvious, so obvious, there's nothing to say; but, following on from the previous comment, it's worth remembering. People sometimes can be inclined to perfectionism, thinking that if a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing well; and this can be an excuse not to do it, because you can't do it well enough. And that may well be the case-sometimes. But it shouldn't become a way of thinking. If a thing's worth doing, it may well be worth doing badly if that's the best that can be done, if making an attempt at doing it is better than leaving it undone. But, whatever is the case in this regard, the point is that once you have made your choice and decided that something is worth doing, then you should stick to it. Don't let fear, or difficulty, or, well, anything put you off doing it. If you have to postpone it to better plan, then do so; but don't let it just drift away once you have decided.

And, well, this is what I have been thinking about recently. Somethings I need to bear in mind more, and maybe, just maybe, someone else may benefit as well.

Turn Off The Dark

Turn Off The Dark

When you are surrounded by Darkness,

Covered, smothered by the Dark,

It overwhelms-

You can be deafened by Silence,

Crushed by the feel of Nothing;

All you want is for it to go away,

Or to go away yourself.

You cry out for it to go, to fade, to disappear;

But it does not:

 You cannot turn off the Dark.

Darkness is not a Thing,

It has no presence, no substance,

It is (merely) the Absence of a thing.

In the same way, silence is where Sound is not;

Nothing is no Things,

As there is 

blankness in the spaces between the letters and words.

You cannot turn the blankness off,

But you can put something in it.

It does not matter much how much

You do so,

But when you do, it is that that is seen

And remembered.

And, in the same way, that is how to defeat the Dark;

You can never turn it off,

But you can fill it with light.

Even one match, one candle is enough to fight the darkness;

And a flame can spread like wildfire.

I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass

There has been a lot of cleaning going on in my flat recently, due to my flatmate moving out. And a lot of recycling, hence the title. I always like recycling because as well as getting rid of stuff that needs to be got rid of, there is the feeling that you are Doing Good at the same time; and when getting rid of glass, it is particularly satisfying to know that you are breaking glass and it is Perfectly Okay. It can be quite good at relieving stress, I find-though maybe that's just me.

So, the recycling bit was alright. Almost fun, and definitely satisfying, in that those things are gone, and don't have to be thought about any more. On the other hand, the cleaning bit definitely isn't, especially if you don't know very well what you're doing.
My mum came over to help me, which was both good and bad. Good because I did things I wouldn't otherwise have done, and bad because I had to do things I wouldn't otherwise have done. I definitely learned some stuff, but on the other hand, that day was exhausting. To be fair, though, that was the day I started to get ill, so it's just possible that may have had something to do with it. However, as a result, the place is now cleaner than it was, and cleaner than it would have got if I had been left to my own devices. And I have to admit, it is somewhat satisfying to see the difference after it has been done.

And I started thinking-I do that sometimes. A long time ago, when I was working in a cleaning job, God said to me something along the lines of that this is something Christians are supposed to do, to clean up the mess the world is in. All the mess, everywhere. So I was thinking about mess, and how easy it is to make. Some mess is sort of 'deliberate', like when something is spilled, but most, if not all of the mess we were working on was just caused by living. Apart from things like preparing food and leaving books on the floor while I'm reading them (to be fair, I do know pretty much which ones are finished and where they should go), there is also just dust-which is just what happens when there are people in a place-and when they're not. And the other thing is how easy it is to live with a certain amount of mess-first because you know you can clean it up, and/or if it's been left a while, it's easy enough to live with things the way they are. Until you have to do something about it.
So, what about the mess in the world-or in our lives? Of course, it would be easier to clean it up as we go along, always assuming of course, that we can. But if/when we don't, what then? What will happen to it and us; and what will make us clean our lives up? And, getting back to where we started, how do we recycle-and more importantly, how do we decide what can be recycled? Just a few questions-if you do have any answers, I'd be interested to hear...

Issues-Important Or Interesting?

The idea for this post has been floating around in my head for a while now, but it was the last few days that it really started to become a big thing for me.

Looking around at various other blogs, there appear to be mainly two types:- ones which are predominantly (auto)biographical, and ones which deal with ideas or issues. In my head, I think of them as 'professional', as people read them pretty much to find out what person x thinks about whatever issue, whether or not that person is known to be an authority, or indeed actually paid to know about those particular issues. Now, obviously, there is no reason why a blog can't be both, and indeed, quite a lot are both; but, as a general rule, most of them seem to be predominantly one or the other.

And this goes just as much for ones by Christians, as you can see by looking at some of the links from this blog. I'm still working on exactly what sort of voice I want my blog to have and be; what I want it to say and why, but so far, it has appeared to be mainly a biog-which really wasn't what I expected when I started it. I kind of thought I'd be talking a lot more about ideas and issues-something along the lines of 'here's something that people are thinking about, and here's my take on it' sort of thing. And, although I have done that a bit, it hasn't really been a large focus of the blog so far. Most of the 'issue' posts (like this one) have been about something personal to me. Not that others can't understand them, otherwise there would be no point in me doing them, but they definitely haven't been inspired by things in the news or that I've seen or heard lots of people talking about. I remember a couple of posts by a friend, like this one about the new Archbishop here, where I thought 'hey, maybe I should say something about that', and then didn't. Obviously.
And what I've been thinking recently is whether that really matters either way. I mean I do have opinions on some/most of these things, and I'm not worried about sharing them. Although I do think that most people who really know me have some sort of an idea of what I think about the issues-and if they don't, they (should) know I'd be happy to tell them if they ask. But I don't think anyone is really that concerned about wanting me to write on particular issues-or not, as the case may be. No-one wants me to force myself to write on particular things just because they're in the news; they may well be quite happy to read about something else at that time. However, if you really do want me to write on anything in particular, let me know. I can't say I definitely will, it's possible I don't have an opinion or know what to say; but I promise I will definitely consider any suggestions.

And so I still don't know quite how this blog is going to continue, but I do know that it will continue. And I hope you will continue to visit; so we can find out together.

Some Thoughts

I've been thinking a fair bit recently-occasionally I do that, it helps to pass the time. In a rather confused way, I've been thinking about several things, but mainly three; family/God, creation, and (spiritual) gifts. In various ways. So here is where my thoughts have got to so far-recently, anyway.

To start with, a Bible verse-often a good place to start. Matthew 5:48 says "be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect", which sounds impossible. However, reading around a bit revealed that the word translated 'perfect' would be better translated 'complete', which gives a slightly different slant on things. Clearly, if we are incomplete, then we cannot make ourselves complete; we can get there one of two ways-either we find what is missing and replace it, or (as is much more likely and doable) we grow into it. And with all the mentions of seeds and plants in the Gospels, we can be pretty sure that Jesus is fond of encouraging growth as well. So, how do we grow?

Well, here are two glimpses of families to give a hint, both true. The first is of someone who adopted a son, as a baby. His friends said that over time the boy grew to look more like his adopted dad, and this was because he was picking up some of his mannerisms, and his accent, and the like. The boy was no biological relation, yet he became more like him, because he spent time with him-a lifetime, in fact. And the second is similar. Someone knew a couple at his gym, who were avid weightlifters, and when he met their children, he was unsurprised to see that they were quite well built too. Seems straightforward enough, until you remember that muscle mass is not an inherited characteristic. The only way the children would have got well built, as it were, is to do the same sort of exercise that their parents were doing. So, in both cases, we have children becoming more like their parents by spending time with them, copying them, and doing what they are doing. Therefore, if we want to be more like God, our heavenly Father, we need to spend time with Him, copying Him, and doing what He is doing. The good thing to remember is that to a certain extent this will happen without our conscious effort; but not all. Some of it will require effort on our part, but it will be rewarded.
So, what does God do? Well, the first thing we see God doing in the Bible is creating, and because we are made in His image, we know we can do the same. Not just build, not just shape (which it tells us He does too), but actually create something new; something that didn't exist before. We also see His love of variety, and just, well, revelling in it. And we also know that He created us to be relational beings, saying it was not good for the man to be alone. So, a good place to start being more like Him is probably to try to create, as well as to revel in what has already been created-by Him or by us. And then share what we create, and what we see, hear, experience. Another thing is that we see Him spend time with Adam and Eve, walking with them in the cool of the afternoon, every afternoon by the sound of it. so, we can be sure that if we want to spend time with Him, He will be more than happy to spend time with us.

More than that, He took the initiative. He said that He came to give life, and life to the full, so He is not only wanting us to be complete, but ready and willing to help us all the way. That's why He came. No matter how bad at it, or reluctant we are.