Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys!

You may have seen this phrase roaming around social media recently; it seems to be popping up all over the place. There's even a couple of pages by the name now - which is where this pic came from:-

As you can see, it's a Polish proverb, so I asked a Polish friend what it means, so I got the sense of it right (though, to be honest, it's pretty straightforward). She told me it's basically the same as 'none of my business'; though much more expressive. Which may tell you something about the English character.

Anyway, the phrase kind of stuck in my head and made me think about monkeys. I went to Kenya a couple of years back now, and when we were there, we saw plenty of monkeys. They weren't everywhere, but they were quite common, and there was one feature of monkeys that soon becomes obvious - monkeys do what they want to do. They're pretty much uncontrollable; and completely chaotic. So, what does that say about life? If the 'monkeys' are our circumstances, our feelings, everything that goes to make up our personal situations, does that mean that life is barely controlled chaos?

After all, even though circuses are made up of well rehearsed performances; they're still bright and colourful and explosively eye-catching, with what look like incredibly risky close calls sometimes. Certainly sounds like a much better description of life than business. Relationships should never be treated just as a business transaction. Ever. Relationships mean treating people as people, seeing them as interesting unpredictable individuals who can be worse than you fear and kinder than you dream - which will definitely be chaotic, and probably messy at times. But that's the difference between love and tolerance - which I also wrote about in this other post involving Polish people.

(And apart from the fact that God wants us to love everyone - not just tolerate them - there's always the fact that if you help others deal with their monkeys, they may just help you deal with yours...)

Two Months Gone!

Well, where does all the time go? It flies when you're enjoying yourself, and even when you're not, it still - somehow - disappears. And once it's gone, it's gone; you can't get it back.

Just about two months back I decided to take a break from writing this blog, because I was getting a bit stressed with doing it. Not because I wasn't enjoying it, but just because I couldn't keep up with doing it. The busier I was, the more interesting things I had to write about, and the less time. When I wasn't busy, I struggled to think of things to post on; but when I had things to write on, I couldn't do it. So I decided to stop temporarily.

I didn't know how long it would be, but I was thinking it would be about a month. Clearly, as you can tell, it was longer, and it could have been longer still. I didn't have any idea of how long it would be when I started to stop, and that made it more difficult to stop stopping, as it were. It did get to a point where it felt like it was starting to get harder and harder to think about starting again; so, I kind of had to decide I was going to, or I could have continued procrastinating forever. I'm good at that.

 But when I started this blog, I wanted it to keep going on. If it does ever come to an end, I want it to be a proper end - i.e. that I decide that this ends for this reason and this other thing is started instead. Which may happen in time, who knows. But what I don't want is for it to just stop.

Like that. So, I've finally started again, thank God. I thank Him anyway, because I'm pretty sure I would have continued to struggle if He didn't help me. I had plenty of ideas, but somehow never got around to writing any of them down. And then I had a week off, and I really wanted/hoped that I would get something on the blog this week.

However, I still didn't know whether I actually would. I know what I can be like. But here we are - I've written this and you're reading it. And it's not actually the first new post - this is.

Playing, With God

This post is sort of about the new EP from Trinity, but it's not exactly a review. It's more sort of about my experience listening to it. But, as you read it, my impression of it should be clear. (Spoiler - I like it. A lot.) To set the scene, last night I was on Facebook and I saw something from Lana Vawser about just spending time with God and basically appreciating His presence. I was at home on my own, so I thought what better time than now, and I thought I'd listen to this:-

(Colours is actually one of the songs, but this is what the cover looks like - it was the best pic I could find)

So I turned off the computer and turned on the CD, and just sat  - with God. And I experienced His presence. But not in a kind of overwhelming way. He was absolutely, definitely there, but in a sort of quiet way, like I could just spot Him out of the corner of my eye, as it were. It kind of felt like He was dancing around, coming close then jumping back just out of reach laughing, and with a sparkle in His eyes. The word that sums it up for me is 'playful' - which is where the idea for the title came from.

I like the whole thing - which is why I've been listening to it on repeat since then, and not got tired of it. Partly, I think, this is because each of the songs are so different. At least, that's how they sound to me. But here are some thoughts and/or impressions from some of them.

'River Run', the title track is, to me, both gentle and poetic. It reminded me of a poem I read about people without hope - except here, there is Hope. And an invitation.
'First Love', another one sung by Jules Woodbridge, is beautifully passionate. It reminds me of an album written and recorded by a Christian couple just after a personal tragedy, where they sung about trusting God and relying on Him, and you could feel that they meant it. That it meant something to them. And in the same way (though completely different), this song makes me feel that Jules knows Jesus. She loves Him, and she knows she loves Him; and this comes across so strongly.
'Colours' (mainly) by Jemima Woodbridge, who is clearly developing into a great (singer and) songwriter, on the strength of this; but it resonates with me for personal reasons. I've been thinking a lot about art and creativity recently (yes, more than usual), and this goes right along with that; that anywhere there is beauty, there God can be known.
And 'Grace Has Won', sung by Josh Chesworth and Becky Bull, which feels to me somewhat like a hymn. Which is definitely a good thing. There are lots of great hymns with fantastic words and tunes, and this has something of that to it. Plus it has Becky singing, which is always a good thing, so I'll leave you with that. Enjoy...

What's The Point Of Christian Fiction, Anyway?

I recently wrote a review of a novel by a new Christian author, and am currently reading 'Heidi' by Johanna Spyri; both of which talk about God clearly, but in completely different ways.

Hardly surprising, as one is set in a dystopian future and the other is set in the Swiss mountains in the late 1800s - I'll let you guess which one is which. However, one thing they do have in common in this regard is that they both talk about God in how He is there, and involved in the characters everyday lives.

But 'Heidi' wouldn't ever have been regarded as 'Christian fiction'; indeed the author would have probably had trouble understanding what the term meant. But it's not because 'back then' everyone wrote about God so it wasn't anything special - that's clearly wrong, for instance, Jane Austen's novels have hardly any mention of God, and yet she was a vicar's daughter who wrote poems and prayers that are full of faith - but rather the opposite. There was no 'Christian fiction' because it was quite 'normal' to read about God. Not everyone wrote about Him, but no-one thought it anything out of the ordinary when people did. And, more importantly, no-one minded particularly.                                   

But now, the prevailing opinion is that 'no-one wants to read about God'; or, at least, not enough people to make it worth trying to market it. And so, a market has grown up for those who do - and for those who naturally do want to 'write about God' (or at least include Him), this has become the natural market to aim for. Seems sensible to find the people who will probably want to read what you want to write.        

But 'Christian fiction' means more than that, or it has come to. It was designed for those who were fed up with not being able to find something to read that didn't contain bad language, drunken excess, violence and sex scenes. You may ask what's wrong with having those in a book, and I can say 'nothing, as long as it adds to the story'. Having them in doesn't make a book good, or not make it bad - that's my view on it.  And I've read plenty of both.

And I can also say that I have a lot of sympathy with this view. I read a lot of chick lit/romantic type fiction and I have to say that after a while sex scenes begin to get a little...boring. There's only so many ways you can describe it, after all. I often find myself wanting to skim through those scenes in order to get back to the story. There's one series of books I read set in Regency times, and in pretty much all of them the couple has sex before the wedding day. Now I realise there were quite a few 'honeymoon babies' who came suspiciously early - or might have - but it would have been far less than in modern times. Still, every single one of the books also features a love match, and that certainly wouldn't have been the case.

The problem comes if or when it becomes more important to have certain elements and exclude others. In both the books I mentioned at the start, God appears naturally, because everything that could be included naturally is, and a relationship with God is treated exactly the same way. Which is exactly the way things should be (and how John Grisham, for instance, gets away with openly talking about faith issues in his novels), but while we still have a situation where, for the most part, God is 'excluded', then unfortunately, the current situation is the best we're going to get. We just have to hope that Christian writers (and readers) get more daring with what is acceptable.

Holiness And Boredom

A bit of an odd title, you may think - or you may be entirely happy with the idea that the two are linked. It is, I understand, quite a common idea that holiness is boring; or, at least, doing the things that lead to holiness are. I know where this idea sort of comes from, but I've never really understood how it developed. From what I know, the idea is all to do with the idea of asceticism being the ultimate 'good'; and, even for those of us who still live in the world, the idea of self-denial being what holiness is all about. After all, one fruit of the Spirit is self-control, isn't it?

But self-control does not mean self-denial; not at all. In the same way that the word temperance has changed meaning - it originally meant 'moderation', now it is used to mean 'abstinence' (particularly from alcohol - another idea that the Bible doesn't teach) - there has been an overreaction in the direction of caution. People didn't want to teach grace as being completely unlimited, because it felt like there would be no incentive to grow, to change. Or something like that.

                                                     

As we know, or at least think we do, that God loves us, but doesn't want us to stay how we are, we want to co-operate; and we also want some sort of reassurance that we are doing the right thing, that we are 'getting it right'. And it's not so very far from there to coming up with rules and regulations; so that we may see how well we are doing - and how well others aren't. And that becomes a cage; it is restrictive, painful, annoying, and yes, boring.

That's not what God wants. He wants to give us life - a full life, an abundant life. And life means growth. We can't be perfect straight away, just like we can't be fully grown immediately - but the idea is that we can and will grow into full maturity. However long that takes. And one thing we can be sure of is that it will take longer than we would like it to. Growing is something that takes a loong time sometimes, and it's not entirely in our control - but we can encourage it to grow the way we want to grow. By what we eat and how (much) we exercise, for example. And what we do spiritually has exactly the same effect. That's what holiness is all about in the end. And, essentially, it is the end...

Take Note - An Interlude

Some things God said to me at church tonight. The first thing was to Take Note - God Is Interested In You. Not in a sort of scientist studying a fascinating and obscure specimen way; but that He wants to encourage you. He wants you to remember that He is for you, that He has your best interests in mind, and He wants to guide you into that future. He knows your potential, and He wants to encourage you that you can give more, do more and be more than you dreamed you could. Especially be more. He wants you to remember that.

That was at the beginning of a talk on grace. Grace is all about God reaching out to us, searching for us before we even thought about Him. And keeping on doing that. But it means more than that. He doesn't just want to stay at at distance, He wants to get close to us, and us to get close to Him. As Adrian Plass has said, it was easy for him to think that God loved him, but that didn't really mean much - after all, that's sort of His job. But what really helped him, was when he came to the understanding that, as he put it, God is nice and He likes me. So remember, God Is Nice, And He Likes You.

And the other thing He said was about promises. He wanted people to know that what He has promised, both generally and specifically, are real. He wanted to remind them of the promises, and underline them. He has not forgotten. I don't know what it is He has promised you, but He does and you do - He has not forgotten.

So, take note and remember...

Be More Dog!

You may have seen some ads for a phone company with this slogan, and the idea (I think) that being a dog means being more enthusiastic about life. Now whether or not you agree with this, that's what I took from the ad - so when God pointed it out to me, and told me to do just that, I wondered if that was what He meant. What does it mean to be more doglike than catlike (and what does that have to do with mobile phones)?

This was the first thing that came to mind:-

Now I'm pretty sure I don't consciously go around with the attitude that I am God; but, I have to acknowledge that I tend to lean towards thinking I know best, and that things should be done my way. Not all the time, but enough to make sure that I don't put God in His rightful place at all times. Is it that attitude that leads to a lack of trust, or a lack of trust that leads to that attitude - or both leading to each other?

But the thing that really inspired this post was going out on with Street Teams last night and seeing some of the guys with their dogs. A couple of them who have had dogs for years now have several pups who are old enough to come out with them - we didn't really see them for several weeks just around when they were born - and watching the pups made me think about this subject again.

The first thing was obvious, which was that they didn't really stop moving, especially the pups. They were pretty loud, all of them, and that is clearly showing that they are interested in life; curious about everything, and interested in it all. And, also clear was the fact that dogs are very much family animals - whether it was with the other dogs or any of the people who were there, they seemed to prefer spending time with someone rather than being on their own. One in particular, called Otis, just never seemed to stop moving, going from one person (or dog) to another.

So, from that, I guess I can conclude that being interested in life and company is A Good Thing - and one of the things God wants me to be more like. But there were a couple of other things as well. One is that although most of the pups looked alike, they were clearly all different; quite varied in personality. And the other is that they seemed to be pretty much always hungry. Which means, I guess, that God wants me to be more enthusiastic about life, and hungry for the things of God, searching them out wherever they can be found.

I'll just leave you with this video:- and, remember, Be More Dog!

(More) Guidance

After my last post on this, I figured I'd write something a bit more specific. A couple of ideas that have really impacted me.

The first is one I heard in a talk once, and I have mentioned it before, I think. That is that you are more likely to regret not doing something than doing it. Or possibly that you will regret them more, I'm not sure. I've thought about this, and there's definitely something in it. Of the things you do, there could be all sorts of things you could regret, from doing it wrong, to doing it badly, to just choosing it in the first place; but, of the things you don't do, you just never know.
You don't know how things might have worked out, you don't know whether you might have learned something, or made new friends - or even just enjoyed it. And, more importantly, you don't know how your life may have changed - how you may have changed as a result. All you know is what you did; and, also, that some of the opportunities you turned down may have had quite a significant impact on you. Now, I'm not suggesting that anyone should go for every single opportunity that comes their way without even thinking about it; but what I am suggesting is that you should consider things more carefully when it comes to opportunities. If anything, I think you need to be more sure about turning one down than about taking one; try to lean more in the direction of saying 'yes' more than 'no'.

And the second, which is definitely linked to the first is the fact that when it comes to taking opportunities (or not), we are the only ones who can make that decision. It seems a cliche to say that we are our own worst enemies, but the reason cliches become cliches is because they contain a certain amount of truth. There's a song we sometimes sing at my church which contains the line 'if God is for us, who can be against us?'; and the answer to that question is us. Always us. For a start, we are the only ones who are always around ourselves - even if we sometimes wish we weren't. But, ultimately, when it comes to taking opportunities, we are the ones who have the most power. We can easily stop ourselves from taking them, either absolutely, by not doing them, or more subtly, by procrastinating or not doing it whole heartedly - and then, when it doesn't work out, we say that we knew that was going to happen all along.

And it's not just taking opportunities when they present themselves; but keeping going with them once we have started. For instance, I have recently been struggling with this blog, with keeping going, as it doesn't seem that many people are reading it. Now I'm not going to stop doing it (not yet, anyway), but that is exactly what I'm talking about. When things are tough it is easy to give up, to just stop; and no-one else can do it for you. Or me, in this case. If I'm going to continue with this blog, then I have to do it - no-one else can. Ultimately, the ones who make our choices are us; to do something or not to do something, to keep going or not to keep going; only us.

Guidance

Well, guidance. A tricky subject at the best of times. Two important things to bear in mind. One is that no-one has this sorted, not even people who have been walking with God for fifty/sixty/seventy years; they've just worked out how to trust Him a bit more. And two, God is more interested in spending time with us than with us always getting it right. Of course He loves it when we do get it right, but He loves us anyway - all the time. And that will never change; no matter what.

• Another thing to remember is that it's easier than we think. God is on our side, and wants us to figure out the right thing to do, so He will help us as much as He can. So, something you may have seen before, but I think is worth repeating: the 5 'CS'. In order, these are Controlling Spirit; Confirming Scripture; Circumstantial Signs; Counsel of the Saints; and Common Sense. In other words, what do you feel about x; God speaking through the Bible; things happening that point in a certain direction; asking Christians for advice (and listening); and actually thinking it through. He may use any of these, usually more than one. The reason they are in this order is that asking for guidance should start with God and end with us.
  So, how does it work practically? Really, this is an impossible question, because every single situation and issue is different; but start with prayer. Always. See if God says anything, or if you have some strong idea of what to do. He promises to live in us by His Spirit, so He will guide our minds and hearts, even when we are not aware of it. Now, obviously, we are not perfect, so we will make mistakes, which is why the other things need to be considered. And He will be in those too - again sometimes without us being aware of it. Confirming Scripture doesn't really need to be explained, except to say that we don't go looking for Bible verses to support what we already think. It is more likely to be accurate if it comes from outside e.g. passages referred to in sermons, things people post on Facebook, daily Bible study notes, that sort of thing. Which leads nicely into the third one - if these things are coming from outside, then they are circumstantial; but also other things that might come up in conversation, or opportunities that are presented. The fourth one is pretty obvious: that if you ask someone else, they may see it a bit more clearly because they're at a little more of a distance, and may help you see it differently; but that if you ask someone, you should listen to whatever they say. Don't just accept it because it's from someone else, but don't just reject it either, if it's not what you want to hear. And the last is all about thinking about it; but with the important point that God is involved. Don't just say that you can't do x, so He wouldn't say that; He can.
  
  Another issue is that there are two parts to being guided; figuring out what to do and then doing it. This is a big problem that pretty much everyone goes through repeatedly. When we come up against things we don't really want to do, or don't think we can do; we can say we're not sure what it is God wants us to do, when actually we have a fairly good idea, we're just resisting it. Also, sometimes, in a similar way, He may give us just the first bit, and tell us what to do next when we get there. Or not tell us any more because that's all we can handle at that point. Something my church leader once said that when he's struggling with guidance, he will go back to the last thing he's sure God said and start from there.
  So, what do we do when we have some idea, but it doesn't seem clear? Well, two things we can always do. One is to spend time with God, praying and worshipping. The more we do that, the clearer our minds will become. Romans 12:2 promises us that. However, that doesn't mean it will be a quick process; it will actually take longer than our lifetime. But it WILL happen. And the other thing we can do is to meditate on the situation. This doesn't mean sit back and let it happen; rather the opposite. To meditate means to turn something over in our minds and look at it carefully. This being the case, that God wants us to know things and that as we draw close(r) to Him our minds will be renewed, a good place to start (after giving it to Him again) is to just go with our instincts. The Bible says He will give us the desires of our hearts, and as we have our minds renewed, our desires become more and more like His. As we go on in life, we teach ourselves to ignore our instincts, but we all have them, and we have them for a reason. So, that's a very good place to start. Also, it is usually better to do something; we can even learn from mistakes. If we don't do anything, not only will we not get anywhere, but we won't have anything to learn from.

Two Birthdays To Baptisms

Two of my friends had their birthday last week - on the same day. But the celebrations weren't, so I got to celebrate two days in a row. Which was nice. And what was better was that both are friends I don't get to spend much time with, so that was a really good start to the week.

On the Sunday, there was an event called a Birthday Tea, which was just what it sounded like. A bunch of us converged on the house, and we had tea. And scones. Which were excellent - apparently James has won prizes for his scones several years in a row. It was a nice relaxed afternoon, with various friends from various places. It was nice to see them - and I'm sure Kirsteen felt the same. And the next day, another friend, who I hadn't seen for weeks at least, had his birthday. I had the day off then, which was unusual, and he had taken the day off, so we decided to go out for the day. We looked at several National Trust places, but decided to go to Slimbridge in the end. Which is a great place; the only drawback being that you pretty much have to drive to get there. But once you get there, it's well worth the drive. We wandered around looking at and feeding the flamingos and ducks and swans and pigeons and...well, you get the idea. And I got a pigeon to sit on my shoulder, which was a bit strange. There were new born flamingos to see, and we watched the otters being fed. All in all, we were there almost until closing time without realising. Definitely to be recommended at any time, though you won't always get to see baby flamingos. And then we went to the cinema to see '3 Days To Kill', which was definitely entertaining. I've been to the cinema more so far this year than I did all last year (as far as I remember), and all of the films have been worth watching.

The next couple of days I was in the Gloucester shop learning the new system, which was interesting, at least. I'm not sure what it will be like when we finally do go over to it, whenever that will be, but at least I know I can work it now. Tuesday evening I stayed in, cos I was exhausted, and Wednesday small group met at my house. And it was a very small group, as only 2 other people turned up. so we chatted for a while, and then spent the rest of the time praying about all the things we knew about that were going on with people we know.
Thursday evening was both happy and sad, as it was the goodbye meal for the Reads, who will be leaving the country probably forever. Which is good for them, and it was definitely a celebration in one sense, as it's been quite a journey for them to get to this point - but they will be missed. We will miss their presence, their smiles and laughter, and their caring natures. And we will miss seeing Adelaide grow up first hand. Still, at least we'll be able to keep in touch online; and we will. But, on the other hand, it was a really good evening all round.

I can't really remember anything much standing out over the next two days, but on the following Sunday there was another baptism service. Which is definitely a highlight of our church calendar; always a real celebration. Tim gave a sort talk about what baptism means, that it's an acknowledgement of grace:- that no-one is good enough, clean enough or British enough to earn His grace, but because God loves us He gives it anyway. This time I knew 5 of the people getting baptised, including someone I didn't know was until she got up to speak. She didn't tell anyone, and her fiance carried her change of clothes, so I didn't realise when I welcomed her at the door. But it was great to see her stand up and talk about what Jesus means to her. That was a great start to the people's stories, and I pretty much didn't stop smiling throughout, even when a couple of the stories brought tears to my eyes. As always, there were some wonderful stories, and the sight of a guy who was tall enough that he had to kneel down in the baptismal tank to fit in. But the best memory for me was the sight of a little girl, about 4-5, at the back wandering around - when each story finished and people clapped, she clapped along with them, even though she clearly didn't know why people were clapping. Another wonderful evening.

Born To Burn!

It was Pentecost last weekend, for those who were unaware. And if you don't know what that means, it's what's sometimes called the birthday of the Church. It's described in the book of Acts as a day that started with a prayer meeting and finished with a church of over 3000. In the middle were some other things, such as God resting on people and empowering them to speak in other languages - and enough joy that some onlookers thought that they were drunk. How many church meetings that you know does that sound similar to?

I was at a meeting on Saturday - the day before Pentecost - which had something of that in it. My church had hired the Centaur building at the Racecourse and invited people from local churches (and some not so local) to celebrate with us. There were quite a few people there from various places, including some from Cornwall and Eastbourne - and a couple of thousand others. Not quite as impressive as 3000 joining from 0, but a great gathering nonetheless.

And God was definitely there with us. If there were any doubt, the fact that a girl who couldn't walk got out of her wheelchair during the worship - and hasn't needed it since - made that absolutely clear. Apparently she went to her church the day after, and really stunned pretty much everyone there by walking in. I hope and pray the effects of that grow and grow.

The talk was about how God wants to set us on fire with the Spirit - did you know that bishops' mitres were originally designed to look like flames in remembrance of the first Pentecost? The whole point being that they were supposed to represent what had already gone on inside - and was still going on. And this is something that God wants to do not just for bishops, or indeed, clergy of any kind; but each and every one of us. Always; every day.

What will happen when we allow Him to do just that? What could happen? We know He wants us to change the world; or, rather, He wants to change the world in and through us - so, what would He do in and through us when we let Him? And what will that look like?

There's been a lot of talk about evangelism recently; but, although that will clearly happen, I think it's almost certainly among the least of what He wants to do. I can think of at two things which are much, much bigger than that, in my opinion. The first of these is that He wants to teach us to love, and to grow all our relationships through this. After all, love is what He said would mark us out among people - what others will notice.

And the second is to give us dreams and visions; to challenge our imagination and our faith. If He wants to change the world, He could send us anywhere and empower us to start anything. That's why He said 'the wind blows where it will, and you do not know where it comes from or where it is going; so it is with people born of the Spirit'. Where will you go?

Words And Music

I remember reading a post from a friend on his blog talking about the lyrics to worship songs and why they matter. He mentioned a song that he found helpful, a real celebration, and another song that he disagreed with some of the words to. The song describes God's mercy as a miracle, and he thinks of this as a category error. We've briefly discussed it, and (I think) agreed to disagree; but I'm fairly sure he would agree that a category error is probably pretty much harmless, particularly when compared to the theology of some songs.

One issue I do have with the words to some songs (which I don't know the names of, but it's definitely more than one) is ones which have an idea something along the lines of God being my only desire. Apart from the fact that I find these difficult to sing along with because it almost never feels true, I really don't think it's Biblical. One of the first things God says about Adam is that it is not good for him to be alone, and yet he walked with God every day. Adam knew God at that point better than any of us will before Heaven, and God still decided he needed something/someone else. Also, the Bible says that God will give us 'the desires of our hearts' - i.e. more than one desire. And if the only thing God wanted to give us was Himself, why would He need to say that; surely it would be obvious.

And I also have problems with bad grammar in songs, and when singers don't enunciate clearly. The most common occurence of this is when they sing something about 'your rarms', whatever they are. I suppose I should just be thankful there are no songs that say anything about 'your ears'. That I know of, anyway. I don't mind the words being simple, as long as they are good words - sometimes we need simple. Just as long as it's not our constant diet; we also need thought provoking stuff as well.

And on another subject, in a way, another type of 'Christian words' that bothers me in songs is when people seem to insist that all songs recorded by Christians should be about something obviously 'Christian'. I don't have any problem with people writing about God/Jesus/Heaven/judgement etc; but, that's not all there is in the world. God cares about a LOT more than that. About war, and self-worth, and looking out for one another, poverty and politics, greed, beauty, and building up relationships to name just a few things. So why not write about those things as well? I'd certainly listen to songs on them.

And another thing is why is it that a lot of popular Christian music sounds so similar? Not all of it; there is some really creative and unexpected stuff out there, like Rend Collective - and when the David Crowder Band split up last year, he ended up forming a bluegrass worship group. They have an album out called Neon Steeple. Now that was unexpected. We know a creative God who made us in His image, so why isn't there more visible creativity?

And another thing...

Blood In My Alcohol Stream

Well, alcohol! Strong drink can arouse strong passions! From CAMRA to (not) drinking and driving campaigns to general health, all sorts of people have all sorts of opinions about what is good or (generally) bad about alcohol.

And just as much strength of opinion in Christian circles. Mainly in America, it seems, but in other places too strong opinions can be found on the subject. A lot of them insisting that Christians should be teetotal, even to the extent of arguing that Jesus didn't create wine at the wedding in Cana. Which seems ridiculous, because it actually says that the steward called the bridegroom over and said 'everyone else serves the best wine first, and when the guests have had a lot to drink, bring out the cheaper wine; but you have saved the best for last', so, clearly, he knew that it was wine and good wine at that. Guests who had been drinking and had every expectation of continuing to do so would not have been happy to have grape juice.

So, what does the Bible actually say about drinking? Quite a lot, actually - there are over 200 references to wine in the NIV, for instance. A lot of them are actually about offering wine as sacrifices; so, the one thing you can take away from that is that God was quite happy to accept wine. There are also some commands not to drink when the Israelites are in the Tent of Meeting, and the description of the Nazirite vows - which did demand total abstention. Which clearly implies that, in general, the Israelites were allowed to drink. Sounds good to me.

It has been pointed out that there are stories of unsavoury behaviour connected to wine, usually involving nudity; but, in all these cases, it is actually due to drunkenness. One of the most striking stories involving wine is of a king who gets given some wine that hasn't matured properly, which tastes awful; so he has the containers marked 'poison'. And leaves them alone. A few years later, he gets bored with one of his wives, so she decides to commit suicide and finds the 'poison'. Which obviously doesn't kill her, but the wine has matured by now, and she regains her joie de vivre and he decides he likes her again. One of those stories that really makes you wonder why it's in the Bible; but the thing that stood out to me was that God seems to like wine more than some people do.

I'll just finish by pointing out that Ps 104, which is basically one of thanks and praise acknowledges God giving 'wine that gladdens the heart' (v15) among other things that He is worth being thanked and praised for. He made it, He likes it, so let's raise a glass.

Thinking About Noah (And Other Films I Haven't Seen)

I almost saw 'Noah' on Wednesday. I fully intended to go with some people from my small group, and got as far as the box office, only to discover it was full. Some may say that was a good thing, as the reviews I've seen haven't exactly been positive, even describing it as 'blasphemous' or 'heretical' - like this one (which is actually one of the better ones I've seen). However, what really makes me unlikely to see it is that people I know haven't given it good ratings - the best description I've heard was 'it was alright, but at times it was a bit like a sci-fi movie'. And that's the best. So, I'm unlikely to see it.

But, you know, I thought I'd write a bit about it anyway. An idea which was inspired by two things - this blog post and an article saying there is talk about a remake of the 'Left Behind' films with Nicolas Cage starring in it. For those who have never heard of the 'Left Behind' series, it was originally a 12 book series about the end of the world - and what happens afterwards.
The reason for the title is that, according to a particular interpretation of parts of the New Testament, at some point there will be an event referred to as 'the Rapture'; where all Christians will be taken up to Heaven, while things on Earth go through a time called the Tribulation (the capital letters are important) before Jesus returns. I have always had a problem with this, because it just doesn't seem to make sense, in that the early Christians wouldn't have read the books in that way; and I really have a problem with the idea that 'the Rapture' happens before the Tribulation. Because it simply doesn't seem to be the way in which God usually operates, in that it isn't anything like His usual pattern to remove Christians from difficult circumstances. He usually works through us in them, as well as in us.

So, I'm far from convinced that 'Left Behind' represents an accurate idea of what the future might hold. Which, knowing at least one of the authors takes it seriously, makes it difficult for me just to enjoy it as fiction. And, as there are 12 books, I almost certainly would give up before the end. So, I don't think I'll read or watch any of them. But, and this is important, God has definitely used them powerfully. They have been bestsellers, and the films made by a small company have been successful enough to be considered by a major company. And, on top of that, many people have become Christians and/or got serious about the faith they had, and serious about the Bible. Not something that many people would have guessed would happen, or at least not to the degree it did.

And that's not the only 'Christian' film in recent years. As well as ones like 'The Passion Of The Christ'* (apparently the most controversial film of all time because of the graphic depiction of violence) and 'Amazing Grace' (about William Wilberforce and the abolition of the slave trade); there are also a fair few lower budget ones, like Courageous and Fireproof. The latest of these being God's Not Dead, which has just been released. Only in Odeon cinemas in the U.K. though, so I'm unlikely to get to see it, which is a shame - I actually want to see that one.
And all of them have two things in common. There is a fair bit of attack and mis-information (with the possible exception of Amazing Grace), and all of them have been surprisingly popular. It seems as though God may well be doing something in the world of cinema. Which, in a sense, shouldn't surprise anyone - He's definitely a God of surprises; one who likes turning up where He wasn't expected.

So, what can we learn from this? One is to never try to fit God into a box; it never works, and we run the risk of missing what He is really up to. But a second is to respect and encourage creativity. If we disagreee with what has been produced or think it's not good enough, that could be a challenge to us to do it ourselves, and do it better. Any ideas..?

*Note 'The Passion Of The Christ I have actually seen - and liked.

The Gospel According To Tom Wright

I've recently finished reading a book by Tom Wright, and am just about to start another. And when I was reading it, I was actually quite taken aback at what he was saying-although his ideas haven't really changed, just developed somewhat. For those of you who don't really know who he is, when I was at uni in the mid nineties, he was recommended as one of the top New Testament scholars in the world; and he still is today. And he's still a Christian. So that makes him worth reading in my eyes.

Which led to the reason I was taken aback. He is still known as a premier New Testament scholar, yet his ideas seem to be very little known. What I mean by this, is that although he probably wouldn't disagree with most of what is taught in churches; he thinks there is a lack of clarity over both what Paul taught, and who Jesus was. Who He is, God and the Son of God isn't really in doubt; but because we don't really understand His background and His role, we misunderstand (at least some of) what He said that is recorded in the Gospels.

So Tom Wright believes - at least, as far as I understand him. I've so far only read 5 of his books, and am reading a 6th, but what he says isn't something I often hear in churches. At least, not clearly expressed. And those ideas have definitely affected the way I think and understand some of the New Testament. For some time now, I've thought that my favourite verse in the Bible, the one I would say expresses what I might call the Gospel most clearly is John 10:10, and to my mind, what he describes 'the gospel' as is very much an expansion of what Jesus says here.

What he says Paul thought of as 'the gospel', and what he taught can be summed up quite simply. To Paul, 'the gospel' was that the God who created and loves the world had reclaimed His rightful place as ruler and king; that He had done this in and through the person of Jesus; and that the resurrection proves this. I see this as both simple and elegant; and cannot honestly see anything that anyone who knows Jesus could really disagree with, though they may question it. Which is fine - God isn't threatened by questions, and I'm pretty sure Tom Wright isn't either.

This is a good place to start, but it's where it leads that is really challenging - both in lifestyle and ideas. For instance, one of the first places it goes can be summed up in the phrase 'if Jesus is LORD, then Caesar isn't'. Which really means something to the early Christians who were being persecuted by the Romans, and by those being persecuted across the world today. But it also means something to us as well. If Jesus is God, and is king and absolute ruler, then nothing is as important as Him, and what He thinks. Nothing and no-one. Not a political party, or campaign, or desire for comfort or to be right, or our own opinions or ideas, are as important. So that 'if' is of primary importance; and if we choose to say we believe it, our beliefs and values should change. And will.

But that does not mean that we should ignore or not care about the state of the world; if anything, we should care more, be more involved. Partly because on a basic level, what He cares about we should; but also because the reason the world is in such a mess, why it basically doesn't work properly is because He isn't in His proper place. Tom Wright talks in places about the various ways people have seen the relationship between God and His creation, and shows 3 different ways, which can be referred to as pagan, greek, and hebrew thought. The first is that God is everywhere and in everything; the second is that earth and heaven are two very separate realms, which rarely interact; and the third is that yes, God is everywhere (He can't not be), but Heaven, where He rules, happens only where He is acknowledged as LORD. Once we accept the third description, we are left with a huge challenge; that of inviting Heaven to Earth. Or maybe building it. Something of each, I think. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we have that possibility - and responsibility.

So, I'll leave it there, hopefully having given something of a flavour of his ideas. I don't want to say much more, because frankly, I'm about at the limits of my understanding now. But I hope I've whetted your appetite to discover more; he's written plenty. I would suggest one of the best is 'Creation, Power and Truth', which is quite short, but powerful.

On Being Resolved!

Well, this is a bit of an odd post. In that, normally, you would expect one like this to come at the beginning of a year. But I decided to leave it for a bit, because, although I can see some good in making resolutions at New Year, it's always felt somewhat artificial to me. And I think that resolutions can be done at any time, so it's better to think about them, and do them when you are clear on them.

So, my 'resolutions', such as they are, are a bit different to how you might expect. I've been thinking about what God has been doing, and what He has been showing me of what the future might hold; and resolved to try to go along with that, as much as possible.

Therefore, my first resolution is to keep working on relationships. Mainly those I already have, as that is difficult enough for me-and, as I get better at them, then I should get better at new ones, too. I have been putting a lot of energy into that over the past few months, and that has been good in several ways. I have learned a lot about myself by pushing myself in relationships, where previously I probably wouldn't have; and, though at times, it hs been exhausting, it has also been rewarding. I have changed for the better, in that I am finding relationships easier, and also enjoying them more. I am finding it more enjoyable spending time with people (though, as I'm an introvert, it can also be quite tiring at times, and I must watch that); and, more importantly, I'm getting to know new people. And I'm really glad I do.

My second is to try to be more open to God more often, and co-operate when He shows me stuff He wants me to do. He said a while back that the word He wants to use to sum up this year for me is 'surprise' (see here), and I'm kind of looking forward to that. But the important thing in that is that if I'm going to have anything change permanently, then I have to do things-but they have to be the right things. So, co-operation with God.

And, following on from that, the other resolution is to take opportunities more often. This goes along with both the previous ones; both in that God will offer me opportunities that I can choose to take (or not), and also, as I continue to build relationships, other possibilities will come up that I can choose to do something about. probably nothing bad will happen if I don't take them; but also, nothing will necessarily change. And change is an integral part of life, so, if I want to live, I have to be willing to change. Which I'm okay with, but, more importantly, I have to be willing to make change happen. I'm neither good at, nor comfortable with doing that; but, it is something that needs to happen. So I need to do it.

That's my resolutions. I'm putting them down here, for two reasons. First, to get them clear in my head; to know what I want and need, and what I have to aim for. And, second, to let others know, so you can help. Ask me about them, and encourage me in them. I hope you do. Thanks in advance.

One Word!

A while back, someone I'm in touch with sent me this post about asking God for a word from Him to direct your year. The word will be something to focus on over the year, and, as you do so, He will put you in situations where He will show you how the word is important in your life. To shape and direct you as much as guide you to the future He has for you. Now I don't know why she sent it to me, but I am sure that God is behind it.

I started to pray about it immediately, and He gave me the word straight away; but I doubted it was the right word. Mainly because it just didn't sound right. The word for me was (and is) 'surprise'. When I heard that, I wasn't sure about it, for a couple of reasons. One, because I was expecting a 'spiritual' word; and, two, because I wondered what I could do with it. I thought that if it was the word, then it would be all about God doing things, and catching me by surprise; but, not really anything I could do anything about-after all, I can't exactly surprise myself. But further questioning revealed that I was both right and wrong. Right in what the word is, that has been the only answer I've received on asking; and wrong on what I thought of it.

There is actually something I can focus on and pray about in this-and it is a challenge. One attitude He wants to challenge (is challenging) is the idea that certain things in my life are never going to change-either that I can't change them, or He isn't going to. Or both. And to go along with that, the fact that when (not if) He changes things, I will have to do things in response. Some of those responses will be easy, or at least straightforward; and some most definitely won't. But, if He does things, He will expect me to grasp the opportunities He creates, and go for them.

I've been listening to the song 'Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) tonight, which contains the line "I'll find You in the mystery"; which seems quite straightforward. After all, if God is God, then we should expect not to ever fully understand Him. But, as far as this goes, if I seriously look into Him, I should expect to be surprised-and to a certain extent, if I'm not, I'm probably not paying attention; maybe taking Him for granted. And that is not only disrespectful rude wrong, but also dangerous. I mean, if I'm going to trust someone, I should get to know them, right?

So, in the (almost) three weeks of the year so far, have there been any indications of things I might get surprised by. Well, this is an obvious example. I've done more posts quicker than ever before, and I still have plenty of ideas. Which is great. But I still have to do them. Which is kind of the point, I think. Whatever He gives me (us?), I (we?) have to do something about/with. The other main thing I have some sense might be changing this year are my relationships. I noticed that towards the end of last year, that I've started a lot of new relationships and refreshed some old ones. And what I noticed with that is that it is difficult. Well, duh. But, again, the whole point. If I want things to get better (and things can always get better, somehow), then I have to be willing to put the work in. And keep doing it. For as long as necessary, which may well be longer than I think-or want it to be. Right?

As an aside, we have been using Oceans for about a year at my church; and, I've always found it a powerful song. There is a refrain in it which talks about asking him to lead me me where my trust is without borders, which I've always enjoyed singing; but, always without fail, found somewhat scary. I think this means that those prayers are being answered. And I'm still scared. But that's good, I think-at least that means I'm taking it seriously. And Him.

Communions

I may have mentioned that church a couple of days ago was a communion service, but I didn't mention that I started thinking about communions and how some of them have affected me. This was partly because this was a topic of conversation at New Year; and partly because it's not something we do all that often at my church, so when we do, I kind of notice.

So, communions I have known (or, at least remember). Starting with the most recent-the first of this new year. What I remember feeling most about this one was that it seemed to be a welcome. Hugs and handshakes going on all over. As well as the service itself being welcoming, due to the fact that there were loads of people there I hadn't seen for a while; it felt like a welcome to me due to the fact that the last time I had been at church (Christmas Eve) was also a communion service, and so, it felt like a continuation in a way, linking to last year. Maybe just for me, but that is what it felt like. So, not something new, but the next step to the next stage of whatever God has for me, here and there.

So, the last one I went to, at midnight Christmas Eve, stood out for slightly different reasons. Of course, there were people there I hadn't seen for a while, some of them not at the new year service; but that's not what I remember most about it. What stands out about the actual communion is the fact that I got given a large piece of bread. Let me explain. One communion I will always remember was one from a youth camp somewhere somewhen which was also done with bread that we could break off ourselves; and I remember clearly noticing that there was plenty of bread left over. God spoke to me about that, saying 2 things: one was that there is always plenty of him to go around; and, the other thing was a warning, almost, just pointing out that the reason there was so much bread left over was because people hadn't taken it; so how often do we not get as much of/from Him than we need because we don't do what we need to? To get back to Christmas, the reason this stood out was that it felt like God was just pointing out that He was giving Himself to me generously. Because it was Christmas? Because it was near the end of the year? Or just because He's God, and He likes doing things like that? It doesn't really matter, just that it did bring that to mind for me.

Another one I remember clearly is the one from last year's Good Friday service. I always like the good Friday services, which are always quiet and meditative; and completely different every year. This year, it was based around an art exhibition, so there were paintings along the walls; and, as part of it, we were directed to look around at them. I say 'directed', but that isn't quite accurate, one of the features of these services is that they are designed to be as free as possible, with a minimum of liturgy. However, the reason this one stands out in my memory is that it was the first time I have helped with the communion itself. I felt it to be a real privilege; the whole thing felt different to me.

And the other one which will stick in my mind for a while, for completely different reasons is one where I didn't take part in the communion at all. Because I was unable to, due to crying so much. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I was crying; but, at the time, I was going through a very stressful time I think I just needed to let go. I started crying at some point during the worship, and continued until some point after the communion had finished; and I just couldn't move. However, I definitely don't feel that I missed out-God was with me in and through that. Communion is one point that He asks us to meet with Him; but He doesn't want us to be religious about it - He isn't.

The Power Of Love

Well, after waking up in the evening (see last post), I went to church. I think the fact that I was still tired was probably important, given what happened later. The service was pretty normal, except Hellie was speaking, which is pretty rare-she's not actually around much at the moment. She spoke on prayer, and on the importance of not only keeping on, but pushing in with prayer, about actually caring about whatever you are praying about. It was a great talk, and I recommend it (you can listen here if you want).
I went up for prayer afterwards, because I felt that I didn't really care. Note, not that I cared quite a bit, but wanted to care more; but that I cared hardly at all. Now, a week later, I think that wasn't exactly inaccurate, but it wasn't as bad as (ironically) I felt at the time-I think it was partly the tiredness that made me feel like that so much. But, I also feel that it was something God wanted me to bring to him at that time. Anyway, I got prayer, and the guy who prayed for me said 2 things (that I remember). One was that God had oceans more love to pour over me; and the other was that He wanted me to focus on resting and receiving His love when I prayed. And as we had a week of prayer coming up this week, I felt that the timing couldn't have been better (funny that). And what God said to me (that I remember) was that He loves my sense of humour- not something I could ever imagine He would say, so I'm pretty sure it was Him.

So, Monday, the start of the week was my day off. Not usual, but a very good way to start a week of resting in prayer. After breakfast, I decided to pray and just wait and listen to God; which is a great way to start any day you can. I did feel very relaxed by the time I went to town to do a few things, like go to the library. I was considering visiting my sister, but felt that wasn't the best thing to do then-and on the way home, someone asked me for money for the bus, and I gave him my weekly bus ticket instead. When I came home, just before 7, I thought about going to the prayer meeting, but didn't make it out of the house. Instead, I prayed at home again. This time, God said that He loved my mind. Not that I was intelligent, so much as the way I look at things was something He likes. And the other thing I remember was reading a bit from a novel that brought tears to my eyes-making it clear that I can and do care.

Tuesday was work as normal, apart from it not being normal for me to work on a Tuesday. Nothing out of the ordinary there, and this time, I did manage to get to the evening prayer meeting. Which was completely different to what I expected, in a way. I was kind of expecting/hoping that it would be more or less us individually meeting with God; but it was much more directed than that. We split into small groups, and I got together with my small group leader to pray. We were praying first about people we could speak to about God, and the people on my mind (strangely?) were some of the bar staff from the pub next door, most of whom are pretty new. I've been getting to know a couple of them a bit recently, and I was praying into that, and that people from church generally build up relationships with them. We prayed about some other things; but that is the thing that has stayed with me. When I got home, I read a bit of the Bible, and I read the bit where Jesus asks his disciples who they think He is; and Peter says He is the Son of God. At that point, He reminded me that He has said before that I am His son; He loves me because I am His son, and I am His son because He loves me.

Well, Wednesday was a bit different again. Working in Gloucester again, but actually fairly relaxed. Not starting so early and finishing a bit earlier too. And I managed to get to the meeting again, choosing to go there instead of my small group. This evening was completely different, not least because there were far more people there-it was pretty much packed.I guess most of the clusters/small groups were there; or at least the ones that met on Wednesdays. It was also quite different in content and feeling, at least for me. It was all about praising and spending time focusing on God. At the end, I chatted to quite a few people; and God pointed out very quietly that I do care about people and relationships, and that is another thing He loves about me. One of the people I spoke to asked me what I thought of her latest blog post, which I really quite like. I think it is beautiful and poetic in nature, and quite thought provoking-read it here. Go on, do it.

On Thursday, I didn't go to the prayer meeting. I was feeling tired after working in Gloucester again, and when God asked me what I really wanted to do, I figured I actually wanted to stay at home and relax. Sometimes, I think, He doesn't actually mind so much what we do, as long as we actually make a decision, and don't just drift. So I relaxed at home- I did write my last post, but apart from that, I just relaxed and prayed. The main thing He said then was to remind me that there are things I care about, as well as people; and that is just as important.

Friday, I was back in Cheltenham, working a normal shift. Which was nice. Almost like having a lie-in. It was quite quiet during the day as well, which isn't as good. But, anyway, what it meant was that when I got to the prayer meeting in the evening, I was really awake and up for it. It was a really good time, although I can't actually remember most of it, or tell you what went on for most people, as I was on the floor, relaxing with God. I can't say I had much choice in the matter (well, alright, none); but it was definitely a great way to end the week of prayer. While I was laying there, Tim spoke about Ezekiel 47 and I meditated on that for a while. I remember reading that what happens there is totally not natural-a stream/river with only one source cannot grow any deeper. So whatever is happening here is God doing something only He can do. And how He is doing it, I have no idea. Then I thought about what that means for any attributes of God. Whatever is represented by this-God's presence, His power, His love- He is making it clear that it cannot be measured; the more of it you see, the more there is to see. In a way, a tiny bit like looking this. Just a tiny bit. So, focus on this picture for a bit, and just think-whatever you think you know of God, He is much, much, more than that.

 The weekend was a little different, because the week of prayer had finished. Saturday was pretty quiet at work, which was incredibly frustrating; and what I became aware of was that God was there, always. When things are good, He is there; when things are great, He is there, and when things aren't so good, He is still there. Whatever happens, whenever, and wherever, He is there. Sunday was different again, because it was a day off, and very relaxing overall; but actually felt very productive. For one thing, I didn't go to church in the morning, but prayed at home; and was praying about Trinity Arts, which was very encouraging. And another thing, I wrote a poem. Which was also encouraging, as I haven't been writing that many for the last couple of years. I've wanted to, I just haven't managed it. And then I went to church in the evening, which was quite something; it was pretty crowded as there was a lot of celebrating going on. The theme of the music seemed to be 'love'-pretty much all the songs were about love or grace; so, you know, it was kind of like it was planned just for me. That's sort of how I felt, anyway. I saw some friends I hadn't seen for weeks, and met some new people; and God spoke through me to some of them. All in all, a great evening for me; I loved it. Exactly what He had in mind, I imagine.

Looking back over the week, I think that where I was at the beginning of the week was exactly where God wanted me to be; and where I was at the end of the week was a lot closer to where He wants me to be. I also think that I was wrong in thinking that I don't care enough; it's just that I care differently from some people. A lot of people I know seem to be passionate about something; but what I hadn't noticed so much is that they are only passionate about one or two things. Which makes sense; because it would be impossible to cope if you tried to be passionate about everything. But that doesn't mean they don't care about other things; and I do care about things. 
One of the things I care about is human trafficking being ended. Which is why I have joined my local Act for Justice group; which is a local group supporting the work of the charity Hope for Justice.

Out Of August, Into Autumn

Well, after the weekend, we had a bank holiday, and I spent most of that with friends. I went out for lunch with a few, and then went to buy a map with one of them. I then got to buy a book in Waterstones, which came as a bit of a surprise to me. I hadn't had that in mind, but clearly God had other ideas. On the Tuesday, I got a bit of a surprising text, telling me we were back on street teams that week, which was a week earlier than I was expecting. I don't remember anything much about the Wednesday, but on the Thursday, I decided I should go out with street teams; which turned out to be a really good idea. It appeared that they were unsure if they would be able to get people together to go out until October; but it turned out that the next two weeks were fine if they could get someone to collect the food from Soho. So I offered to do that.
And on the Friday, I was invited to a friend's housewarming party.Well, I'd actually been invited a couple of weeks before, but had forgotten when it was-I thought it was the Saturday. Thankfully, my housemate reminded me in time, and I wandered along. And that was a brilliant occasion. There were loads of people I knew there, not just Becky and Glen, who had invited me. People I hadn't seen for ages, and people I don't spend much time with. I even met a couple of new people, which is always good. there was plenty of laughter, conversation, and fun-and a general good time was had by all. And the thought of arranging to see some films with Dapo, at some point. That was my experience of it, anyway. May there be many more like that, as many as possible. And on the actual Saturday, it was back to work as usual, except, slightly unusually, Jess was back from maternity leave-sort of. Apparently, it is a legal requirement to offer something called 'keeping in touch days' so the new mum can continue to work a few days during the year. It was nice to have her back, anyway.

And then, the Sunday was the first of September, so technically also the first day of autumn. I had a very relaxing Sunday-a friend came round for a bit in the afternoon, and then I went to church in the evening. And again, a good time was had by all-that being my experience, anyway. The Monday was also relaxing, as I had that day off, which is unusual; but I had been asked to work my normal day off in the Gloucester shop. Which was fine, as a change is always interesting, and I did get a day off, being two days in a row. And Wednesday was a bit up in the air. I had been trying to sort out going round a friend's house with a couple of friends to watch a film, but that didn't happen, so I felt it was right to go to my cluster social after all. Which, again, was fun-this spending time with people appears to be quite good. I think I like it. And Thursday was memorable for a totally unexpected reason.
I was on the bus going home from working in Gloucester quite happily reading (the book I'd bought Bank Holiday Monday actually), when a girl got on the bus and sat beside me. Nothing unusual there, except for the fact that God said 'tell her she's beautiful'. You know, NOT the sort of thing you want to hear on a perfectly ordinary bus journey. Well, I sat there, at first trying to ignore it, and then arguing with God, trying to persuade Him that it really wasn't a good idea for me to do so; and then He said, 'also, tell her don't worry'. I had picked up that she was getting off the bus in Cheltenham, same as me; so I knew I had plenty of time, so I carried on trying to avoid it. Eventually, it got to a point where I said 'do I really have to?'; and He answered ' no, but if you don't, it's not you who'll miss out'. And I couldn't really argue with that; I just had to figure out how to do it. Well, as we were geting into town, she turned to me to ask me something about where the bus would stop, and I took the opportunity, and said 'you may think this is a bit weird, but...' I explained that I'm a Christian and God sometimes speaks to me, and He'd said 'don't worry' (that seemed the easier one to say). She smiled and thanked me, in quite a matter of fact way, so I got enough courage to say what He had said first-at which point, she smiled even more, if that were possible, and thanked me again. And said that she does often worry about all sorts of things. We chatted for a few minutes, and then the bus pulled up, so she got off the bus still smiling, and thanked me again. And that was that. To be honest, I was a bit exhausted, so I sat there for a few minutes before I pulled myself together and got off the bus-off to get the food for street teams.

So, I went out with street teams a bit later, which was still a bit quiet, and then later went to Hungry for God (a weekly prayer meeting). We got together to pray a one point about where we wanted the Kingdom of God to particularly break in, and I felt that one important thing was this blog. So we prayed about that.