Two Months Gone!

Well, where does all the time go? It flies when you're enjoying yourself, and even when you're not, it still - somehow - disappears. And once it's gone, it's gone; you can't get it back.

Just about two months back I decided to take a break from writing this blog, because I was getting a bit stressed with doing it. Not because I wasn't enjoying it, but just because I couldn't keep up with doing it. The busier I was, the more interesting things I had to write about, and the less time. When I wasn't busy, I struggled to think of things to post on; but when I had things to write on, I couldn't do it. So I decided to stop temporarily.

I didn't know how long it would be, but I was thinking it would be about a month. Clearly, as you can tell, it was longer, and it could have been longer still. I didn't have any idea of how long it would be when I started to stop, and that made it more difficult to stop stopping, as it were. It did get to a point where it felt like it was starting to get harder and harder to think about starting again; so, I kind of had to decide I was going to, or I could have continued procrastinating forever. I'm good at that.

 But when I started this blog, I wanted it to keep going on. If it does ever come to an end, I want it to be a proper end - i.e. that I decide that this ends for this reason and this other thing is started instead. Which may happen in time, who knows. But what I don't want is for it to just stop.

Like that. So, I've finally started again, thank God. I thank Him anyway, because I'm pretty sure I would have continued to struggle if He didn't help me. I had plenty of ideas, but somehow never got around to writing any of them down. And then I had a week off, and I really wanted/hoped that I would get something on the blog this week.

However, I still didn't know whether I actually would. I know what I can be like. But here we are - I've written this and you're reading it. And it's not actually the first new post - this is.

What's The Point Of Christian Fiction, Anyway?

I recently wrote a review of a novel by a new Christian author, and am currently reading 'Heidi' by Johanna Spyri; both of which talk about God clearly, but in completely different ways.

Hardly surprising, as one is set in a dystopian future and the other is set in the Swiss mountains in the late 1800s - I'll let you guess which one is which. However, one thing they do have in common in this regard is that they both talk about God in how He is there, and involved in the characters everyday lives.

But 'Heidi' wouldn't ever have been regarded as 'Christian fiction'; indeed the author would have probably had trouble understanding what the term meant. But it's not because 'back then' everyone wrote about God so it wasn't anything special - that's clearly wrong, for instance, Jane Austen's novels have hardly any mention of God, and yet she was a vicar's daughter who wrote poems and prayers that are full of faith - but rather the opposite. There was no 'Christian fiction' because it was quite 'normal' to read about God. Not everyone wrote about Him, but no-one thought it anything out of the ordinary when people did. And, more importantly, no-one minded particularly.                                   

But now, the prevailing opinion is that 'no-one wants to read about God'; or, at least, not enough people to make it worth trying to market it. And so, a market has grown up for those who do - and for those who naturally do want to 'write about God' (or at least include Him), this has become the natural market to aim for. Seems sensible to find the people who will probably want to read what you want to write.        

But 'Christian fiction' means more than that, or it has come to. It was designed for those who were fed up with not being able to find something to read that didn't contain bad language, drunken excess, violence and sex scenes. You may ask what's wrong with having those in a book, and I can say 'nothing, as long as it adds to the story'. Having them in doesn't make a book good, or not make it bad - that's my view on it.  And I've read plenty of both.

And I can also say that I have a lot of sympathy with this view. I read a lot of chick lit/romantic type fiction and I have to say that after a while sex scenes begin to get a little...boring. There's only so many ways you can describe it, after all. I often find myself wanting to skim through those scenes in order to get back to the story. There's one series of books I read set in Regency times, and in pretty much all of them the couple has sex before the wedding day. Now I realise there were quite a few 'honeymoon babies' who came suspiciously early - or might have - but it would have been far less than in modern times. Still, every single one of the books also features a love match, and that certainly wouldn't have been the case.

The problem comes if or when it becomes more important to have certain elements and exclude others. In both the books I mentioned at the start, God appears naturally, because everything that could be included naturally is, and a relationship with God is treated exactly the same way. Which is exactly the way things should be (and how John Grisham, for instance, gets away with openly talking about faith issues in his novels), but while we still have a situation where, for the most part, God is 'excluded', then unfortunately, the current situation is the best we're going to get. We just have to hope that Christian writers (and readers) get more daring with what is acceptable.

Blank Page...

Sitting in front of a screen, sighing, wondering what words to write. I have words at hand, just waiting for me to reach out and grasp them - but which ones? And in what order?


Sometimes I just have ideas, or images of something not quite... there. Not quite clear. Or whole. Maybe the words would come easily, oh so easily if, when the ideas become what they could be, should be.


And when that idea comes, where will it go? How will it get there? How do I get there? What path do I follow? Or make? Where do I forge my own route? Where will I go? Where will I end up? Sounds a bit like an adventure, yes - exciting? It could be, hopefully will be - but not yet.


I haven't got there yet. I haven't got anywhere, it seems. And, it seems like I'm never going to get anywhere. Not at the moment. Maybe not ever. Who knows, maybe I'll never write again.


I know what I want to say. Almost. Sort of. I'm just not sure how to say it. Where to start, where to go next. What words, phrases will be best, be right. If any - there have to be some, right? Right?


I've done it before; I must be able to do it again. I must. It can't be that difficult. It can't. It is. It was never this difficult, I'm sure. I can't do it, I'll never do it. Never again. I give up...

I Am Margaret

I recently read an ebook - a debut novel by a Catholic author. I was given Amazon vouchers for my birthday, and was wondering what to spend them on, when I saw an ad for this:-
                                              
                                                            

This is the cover for 'I Am Margaret', and I think it's brilliant. It's both simple and powerful, partly because it is so stark. It gives something of an impression of what the novel holds, while also showing somewhat the tone of the novel. Stark and powerful - both the cover and the novel itself.

Set in a dystopian future, it is the story of Margaret, who is judged imperfect and taken to the Facility, where she will ultimately be dismantled, broken down for spare parts while fully conscious - unless she can escape. But no-one has ever escaped from a Facility before...

And it is the story of those in the Facility with her, not all of whom survive. The Facility is the ultimate expression of the world they exist in; a world where people are valued for what they are rather than who they are, a world where the material is all that is allowed to exist.

Without giving too much away, I will say that there is more going on in this book than at first appears on the surface - and that 'I Am Margaret' is the title of more than just this book. It peels back the layers of society in much the same way as the society peels away the layers of those who are dismantled; and it questions whether people really are just what they seem on the surface. Is there more to life than this - and, if so, what?

I also really liked the characterisation of the various people in the book, both guards and inmates. Particularly the character of Sarah, who is brain damaged due to an accident in her childhood; and genuinely has no idea of why she is there, and not much more of what could happen, what will happen.

This reminded me a bit of 'The Cure' by Michael Coleman, and like that ended with a note of hope; but unlike that, the story doesn't end here. This is the first of a trilogy, and I have to say I'm very much looking forward to the next in the series. but for now, I'lll leave you with this trailer:-

                                                                  

Meghan Tonjes Is Fat (Oh And Gorgeous, By The Way)

This is Meghan Tonjes (pronounced as spelt). If you don't know who she is, she's a singer/songwriter and vlogger from Los Angeles who posts a lot of videos on youtube. Some of her singing, and some of her talking about things. All sorts of things, but a lot about things to do with self image and self confidence. And she started a youtube channel dedicated to the same idea called Project Lifesize. Also, she's appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show.

So, she's been quite busy over the last few years. And up until recently, I'd never heard of her. What I heard about first was the controversy over this photo, which she put up on her Instagram page as part of a series detailing her weight loss journey. Which got taken down. No warning, no explanation, except to say that someone had complained that it was 'offensive'. Whatever that meant - as I said, there was no explanation. I must admit I was puzzled, because I couldn't see anything particularly outrageous about it - it looks like hundreds of other photos that get put up every day on social media.

But she figured she knew why, and put up this video saying what she thought:-

And when I watched it, I thought 3 things. First, I thought she had a great smile, and was/is very pretty. Second, I thought that she's actually pretty smart as well. She has a problem, and she puts it across well without shouting or throwing a tantrum - which is getting quite rare on the internet these days. And, third, I noticed just a few musical instruments in the background. Reading the article again was when I registered that she is, as I said, a singer/songwriter, so I looked her up on youtube. Where this video comes from. And listened to a few of her songs - and then a few more. And watched some of her other F.A.T. (Frequently Asked Tonjes) videos, like this one. Well worth watching, all of them.

And, after that, I was pleased, annoyed, and challenged. Pleased because I'd found another good musician, annoyed that I hadn't found her before, and challenged because it made me wonder. How often do I behave like that? I didn't find that picture particularly outrageous, as I said, but how often do I respond to something that's essentially harmless as if it's really a problem. I don't know the answer, except to say 'too often'. And, also, how do I respond when someone else has a problem with me - do I respond as well as she did? Something to think about, I think - and keep thinking about. And working on changing. So I'm following her on youtube now. Not because I think she's attractive, though she is; but because she has a great voice, and she says things I could do with listening to.

By the way, Instagram restored her picture, and apologised. But they still didn't give an explanation, except to say that they 'sometimes get it wrong'. Hmm.

So, here's another few photos of her

 

Words And Music

I remember reading a post from a friend on his blog talking about the lyrics to worship songs and why they matter. He mentioned a song that he found helpful, a real celebration, and another song that he disagreed with some of the words to. The song describes God's mercy as a miracle, and he thinks of this as a category error. We've briefly discussed it, and (I think) agreed to disagree; but I'm fairly sure he would agree that a category error is probably pretty much harmless, particularly when compared to the theology of some songs.

One issue I do have with the words to some songs (which I don't know the names of, but it's definitely more than one) is ones which have an idea something along the lines of God being my only desire. Apart from the fact that I find these difficult to sing along with because it almost never feels true, I really don't think it's Biblical. One of the first things God says about Adam is that it is not good for him to be alone, and yet he walked with God every day. Adam knew God at that point better than any of us will before Heaven, and God still decided he needed something/someone else. Also, the Bible says that God will give us 'the desires of our hearts' - i.e. more than one desire. And if the only thing God wanted to give us was Himself, why would He need to say that; surely it would be obvious.

And I also have problems with bad grammar in songs, and when singers don't enunciate clearly. The most common occurence of this is when they sing something about 'your rarms', whatever they are. I suppose I should just be thankful there are no songs that say anything about 'your ears'. That I know of, anyway. I don't mind the words being simple, as long as they are good words - sometimes we need simple. Just as long as it's not our constant diet; we also need thought provoking stuff as well.

And on another subject, in a way, another type of 'Christian words' that bothers me in songs is when people seem to insist that all songs recorded by Christians should be about something obviously 'Christian'. I don't have any problem with people writing about God/Jesus/Heaven/judgement etc; but, that's not all there is in the world. God cares about a LOT more than that. About war, and self-worth, and looking out for one another, poverty and politics, greed, beauty, and building up relationships to name just a few things. So why not write about those things as well? I'd certainly listen to songs on them.

And another thing is why is it that a lot of popular Christian music sounds so similar? Not all of it; there is some really creative and unexpected stuff out there, like Rend Collective - and when the David Crowder Band split up last year, he ended up forming a bluegrass worship group. They have an album out called Neon Steeple. Now that was unexpected. We know a creative God who made us in His image, so why isn't there more visible creativity?

And another thing...

Love, Tolerance, And Polish People

If you read a lot of stuff online, you will probably see a lot of people being intolerant, all over the place. And you will see a lot of people proclaiming tolerance as a great virtue. Sometimes (often?) the same people. So how does that work?

Well, possibly because tolerance isn't actually a virtue at all. I did think about calling this post 'Tolerance Isn't A (Christian) Virtue'; but I hope to be more positive than that. I once heard of a great example of the difference between love and tolerance from someone I used to work with. I used to work in a shop wih a guy called Maciej - nice guy, very friendly, spoke English really well. Probably better than some English people I know. So, when he mentioned to me one day that he had come to this country partly in order to improve his English, I was quite surprised; I couldn't see that it really needed improving. And a bit later, someone else mentioned that he had asked him to pick him up on his English whenever he said something wrong. And I realised that that is what the difference is.

I was quite happy with his English - 98% of the time he was perfectly understandable, and because of this, I didn't pick him up on it. But, unless people did that, his English wouldn't improve any more. And he wanted it to. It's a bit like patriotism. A lot of people think of 'patriotism' as being something along the lines of 'my country right or wrong is always right'; but, really, what it should be is 'my country is great, but it could be better if we did...' - again the same difference, love or tolerance. And it also brings to mind the fact that love is hard; it requires effort. And taking the time to pay attention to people.

love is hard

So, what about tolerance, then? Well, I still work in a shop, and I think of tolerance like this. We get Polish people come in sometimes, and sometimes, when I ask them if they need any help, they say 'just watching' instead of 'looking' (as an aside, do you English speakers know exactly what the difference is? Hmm). So, obviously, I immediately pick them up on that. Or, actually, not. But, you might say, that's just politeness. Yes, exactly. Which is why I say tolerance isn't a virtue. However, love is. And respect. And even politeness. So work on those - and other virtues.

love is hard... but it is worth it

Friends And Relationships

I have had several conversations recently that have stood out to me for different reasons. Different people, different circumstances have all pointed up things I may need to know, to pay attention to.

Friday
I had a conversation with one friend about a relationship I was having problems with, and forgiveness came up. Later, I met up with another friend, and he was talking about a talk he'd heard recently, which was talking about forgiveness and how it needs to work. Which made a lot of sense, and was really helpful at the time. And another thing he said was about the blog - that my strongest posts were ones where I was talking about ideas, rather than what I've been up to. Which is something I've been trying to do more of since then.

Saturday
Work as usual was followed by a BBQ to celebrate a friend's birthday. Which was really nice - one of the nicest evenings I've had in quite some time. Chilling with a bunch of friends, and a lot of silliness was the order of the day. And I managed to have a long, rambling conversation with the person I am having problems with. Which is a very good sign.

Sunday
A nice relaxing afternoon, where I wrote a poem about the previous evening. Which is good - writing is always good. And in the evening, we had a speaker talking about Compassion UK at church, and I thought about my sponsored child, who I haven't been in touch with for a while now. I was chatting with a friend, and she was saying that she was the same, that she hadn't written to hers for even longer. So we both came away feeling that that was something we needed to attend to - I haven't done it yet. I also met someone new at church who was just sponsoring a child, and met up with an old friend who is a Compassion advocate; it was good to see her, to catch up for a bit, and to find out what's new in her life.

Tuesday
I went round to see a couple of friends in the evening. They live pretty near me, and they have invited me to come round often; but I don't often take them up on it - the last time I went round was just after my birthday. But it's always a nice evening when I do go round; and this was no exception. There was a lot of laughter, and we talked about poetry, which is always a good thing.

Thursday
Two conversations stood out today; one on Street Teams and one with a friend a bit later.The first one was with a guy called Darren, who started talking about basically ghost stories that had happened to him. He said sometimes he felt that someone or something was trying to get through to him, and I just felt this nudge to suggest he asked God to speak to him. He said he felt that was a good idea, that he used to pray, and he felt he should get back to it; and also that he wanted to read the Bible more, and asked if he could ask me if he had any questions about it. I agreed, as long as he doesn't expect me to have all the answers, and he said that was fine. So I look forward to hearing more about what he finds. And the other was with a friend, to discuss an idea I had to start a Christian publisher. He was very encouraging, and suggested the next step was to pray about a mission statement, so I've been doing that.

Sunday
Sunday morning was the celebration of the dedication of Adelaide Read, and led to lots of generally quite chatty and relaxing conversations - celebration is always good. And in the evening I was chatting to a couple who may want to get involved with Street Teams. Which would be good, as we may well be losing a few members over the next few months.

So, all sorts of different conversations that made me think in some way about (my) relationships. Relationships both show you something of who you are, and to a certain extent shape you too. And the fact that mine are so varied is almost certainly a good thing. And thinking about them has brought certain things to mind. For instance, that relationships work best when you are able to just be in each others' company. However, conversely, they only really grow when you make the effort to actually do things together, to spend time together; it doesn't just happen. But, most importantly, they are one of the things that make life worth living.

Virtual Relationships

Just a quick one this time. Hopefully, anyway, as I have some sort-of half formed thoughts that I want to explore here. Recently, I set up a page on Facebook to collect and share blogs by Christians (it's called 'Brilliant blogs - and mine' and can be found here, if you want to look it up), and, because of that, I have been getting in touch with a lot of people. Mostly people I know.

And, obviously, I have mainly been getting in touch with them online. Not exclusively, but clearly, when I'm talking about 'things' that 'exist' online, then it makes sense to communicate mainly online. So it makes it as easy as possible to access the 'things'. By which I mean the page and the blogs I'm 'collecting'. Which leads me to think about reality, and, well, not reality. Blogs are clearly real, but what really are they? Even as collections of words, they have no tangible, 'touchable' reality; but why should that make them less 'real' than a printed page, than an article or book? And, given that the words in whatever form are expressing something even less tangible, thoughts or some other expression, but which is still 'real'; given this, what does 'reality' mean anyway? And, what does it matter?

And the other thing that came out of this was how I got in touch with people. I don't mean through messages exactly, but rather the fact that, as I have been doing it, I have been in touch with people I haven't been in touch with for a while, and there has been something more than just the passing of information. We have been asking and sharing something of ourselves. Which, you know, is kind of to be expected; what with it happening all the time and all. But I didn't expect it really. I was thinking about passing on information, but the act of communication carried with it more than I planned.

So that's what I wanted to share today. No conclusions, as it were, just kind of dropping some thoughts out there to see what anyone thinks...