Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys!

You may have seen this phrase roaming around social media recently; it seems to be popping up all over the place. There's even a couple of pages by the name now - which is where this pic came from:-

As you can see, it's a Polish proverb, so I asked a Polish friend what it means, so I got the sense of it right (though, to be honest, it's pretty straightforward). She told me it's basically the same as 'none of my business'; though much more expressive. Which may tell you something about the English character.

Anyway, the phrase kind of stuck in my head and made me think about monkeys. I went to Kenya a couple of years back now, and when we were there, we saw plenty of monkeys. They weren't everywhere, but they were quite common, and there was one feature of monkeys that soon becomes obvious - monkeys do what they want to do. They're pretty much uncontrollable; and completely chaotic. So, what does that say about life? If the 'monkeys' are our circumstances, our feelings, everything that goes to make up our personal situations, does that mean that life is barely controlled chaos?

After all, even though circuses are made up of well rehearsed performances; they're still bright and colourful and explosively eye-catching, with what look like incredibly risky close calls sometimes. Certainly sounds like a much better description of life than business. Relationships should never be treated just as a business transaction. Ever. Relationships mean treating people as people, seeing them as interesting unpredictable individuals who can be worse than you fear and kinder than you dream - which will definitely be chaotic, and probably messy at times. But that's the difference between love and tolerance - which I also wrote about in this other post involving Polish people.

(And apart from the fact that God wants us to love everyone - not just tolerate them - there's always the fact that if you help others deal with their monkeys, they may just help you deal with yours...)

Three Comedies - And A First

I've had a very bust weekend just gone, what with watching three films. All comedies, in case you were wondering. Which makes nine since I first got my unlimited card.

I was going to see 'The Inbetweeners 2' with a friend, but she could only manage Friday, and it wasn't on in Cheltenham then. But then I realised I would be working in Gloucester on Friday, so I just randomly checked to see what was on there; and it was on. At 7:45, which was fine, apart form the fact that I didn't know what to do in between then and finishing work at 4:30 - no pun intended. So, I decided to see 'The Boxtrolls' on my own. Yes, it is the first time in a while (about 20 years) since I watched a film at the cinema on my own, but I have done it before - so that's not the first. Nor is it going to see two films in one day, though that's also something I haven't done for a long time - and possibly should do more often, at least while I have the cineworld card anyway.

Incidentally, for those who haven't yet seen it, 'The Boxtrolls' is absolutely fantastic. Both exactly what you'd expect, and completely different at the same time. What I mean is that it's a brilliant children's film, with great animation, really funny with a touch of magic - well worth watching for those reasons alone. But the things you wouldn't necessarily expect beforehand are the plot, the characterisation, the surrealness, and the mild obsession with cheese. Which, you know, is definitely intriguing.

And 'The Inbetweeners' was just as funny, but in a completely different way. Which was probably a good thing. Anyway, it was a really good film, and I would also recommend you consider it - if you like that sort of thing. Which clearly I do. But 'The Boxtrolls' is good for everyone. And when I was on the bus on the way home, there were a whole bunch of students, and I couldn't help thinking about the film while hearing their somewhat random comments.
                                                      

But then we get to Saturday, and after a long day at work, I had an unplanned nap before heading out to a film premiere. Which was the first - I can definitely safely say I have never been to a film premiere before. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered. Just for those who weren't sure, it's called 'Broken Leg', and that's the promo poster. The reason I got to go is that one of the writers/producers has a sister (and brother in law) who lives in Prestbury so the U.K. premiere was at their house. So, the first film premiere I've ever been to (did I mention that?), and not only that, but the first film showing where I got to meet one of the actors - Sarah Sawyer, who plays Karla. She's over here for a year, studying at the Bristol Old Vic; past alumni of which include Patrick Stewart and Daniel Day Lewis. So, hopefully, this could be just the start of what she gets up to. And if you want to find out more about Broken Leg, you could check out the  facebook page- or watch the trailer below. It is a brilliant watch, by the way; a fun and funny family friendly film. Go track it down - you won't regret it. Really you won't.   

                                                       

What I Learned From Books 3: Love And Romance (And Maybe Sex)

One of the things that surprises at least some people is the fact that I read so many books which fit into the category of 'chick-lit'. Some people are fine with the idea, but there are some people who do seem to have difficulty fitting it into their mental picture of me, for some reason. I'm not sure why - when I say I read pretty much anything, I mean it. Of course there are some things I tend to prefer (and I don't often read technical manuals for fun), but as I read a couple of hundred books a year, there's plenty of space for pretty much everything in there...

So, for those slightly less aware, what is 'chick-lit' anyway? Isn't it just romance? Not exactly, but that's still pretty close. It's like the difference between 'rom-coms' and 'chick flicks'. The main difference in my opinion is humour; 'chick-lit' does cover more than just romance, but the thing that they all have in common (at least the ones I've read) is a robust sense of humour. 'Chick-lit' does cover more, but it's rare that romance doesn't feature at all.

So, having read definitely over a hundred of them, what have I learned about life - and relationships? Well, apart from the fact that romance still seems to be incredibly important to women in general (and that men in general seem to be pretty bad at it - not just me, then), there do seem to be a few recurring themes. Which eitther mean that the authors are pretty unimaginative, or real life really is this messy. I'm going for the second option, personally. These general themes are: life is difficult; relationships are difficult; marriage. Oh, and sex rears its many splendoured head time and time again. The first one is kind of obvious, really - if everything goes smoothly, there wouldn't be much of a story. Ever. And if anyone tries to say that's unrealistic, that life is easy; I would just gently suggest that you probably don't live in the same world as approximately 98% of the world's population, somehow. But that's really just background; it's the second one, that relationships are difficult that the majority of the stories are about.

And they get to be made difficult for two main reasons, really. All relationships suffer from breakdowns in communication; sometimes it seems that they are shaped by the secrets they keep - and share. And I do mean all relationships - with friends, work colleagues, and family members, as well as romantic partners. It almost seems that no-one really trusts anyone - but that can't possibly be true.
And romantic relationships also are affected by attraction. And sex. Surprisingly, sex isn't just had by people who fancy one another - and even when it is, attraction can and does fade. The thing that puzzles me, that I just can't get my head around, is how people can see sex as meaningless and at the same time so important that it's one of the main things (romantic type) relationships are centred on. Not the only one, I know; but it's so rare for it not to be there that I almost think it's implied to be the only vital thing. (Of course, these are all in books, obviously; so they don't relate at all to real life? Right?)

And marriage. You might be surprised that I mention that, as I'm talking about books that are basically talking about romance - so marriage is pretty much to be expected, right? Well, when I thought about it, it did come as a surprise to me. We're always being told/shown in the media, in books, that romance and relationships don't have to end in marriage; or even have it as an aim anymore. No-one would be surprised to hear that; yet in these particular books marriage is a big thing - and not just in the ones in a historical setting, either. It's far more common than not for marriage to be a major part of the plot - and that does come as a surprise.


And I think I'll leave you with this cartoon from xkcd which neatly covers the first three points...

Eating, With Friends

I've had another week off, and I was hoping to meet up with friends during the week. I was semi-successful in meeting this aim.

The week started off well with a thankyou BBQ at the new house of some friends. I was among those who helped them move in in some way, so I was invited to the BBQ they decided to do to thank people. I actually felt a bit embarrassed about it, cos it wasn't exactly any trouble for me to offer the little help I did, and I enjoyed spending some time with them. However, I always enjoy spending time with them, so I happily went along. And it was another great occasion - as all the BBQs I've been at this summer have been. The weather was great, the company better, and it was just a really nice way to relax. And definitely a good start to the week.
And the Monday was good in this way too. I managed to catch up with a friend I hadn't really seen for a while, except in passing. He also has a cineworld card, so I mentioned about going to the cinema. He was up for that, so I suggested grabbing something to eat - our cards give us discounts in certain places. So we ended up having something to eat. Eating is good.

And most of the rest of the week was pretty much quiet. I hardly saw anyone else all week - though I did leave the house a few times. It meant I had a lot of time for thinking and reflection; so I did. I thought and I reflected. I meditated on things. Several subjects, but so far have come to no conclusions. And I tried to write blog posts, but I only managed one. Why that was so difficult, I don't know. Maybe I needed the time to think, but I'm sure I would have enjoyed talking it through with people more.

And on the Saturday, I got the chance to talk to someone else. Another friend I haven't seen for so long that I can't actually remember when it last was. And I'm not going into the reasons why, but suffice to say we've tried to meet up several times this year and it just hadn't worked. Until yesterday. Which was wonderful. It was great to see him again, and also great to have an absolutely amazing long rambling conversation about all sorts of (very) random topics, both serious and silly. More silly than serious, I have to admit. We both like being silly - there's not enough silliness in life, I think. And it's important. Being able to be silly in company and having the chance to do it doesn't happen often enough. I can't speak for everyone, but I think most people would probable agree that they could do with more silliness in their lives. Wouldn't it be great to know that most relationships and meeting up with people would definitely involve seriousness and silliness - that wherever you go, whoever you meet, silliness is on the agenda. And that knowledge of silliness giving you the security to know that seriousness is possible...

Comedies (With Tragedies)

I saw a couple of films at the cinema last week - it's about time I got round to doing that again. and they were both great.

I took my niece on Wednesday to see How To Train Your Dragon 2:-

and I went with some friends on Saturday to watch Guardians Of The Galaxy:-

both of which I recommend - they're great. They have a lot in common too - they're very colourful and silly, with lots of explosions and lots of unusual creatures. I mean, let's face it, dragons are pretty rare.
But they have other things in common too; a more serious side. Which wasn't really something you'd expect from films like this. Not that that's a bad thing; it definitely made them better films, in my opinion. They both showed the importance of family, and that family isn't just who you're born to; they both deal with loss, and love, and loyalty; they both have taking responsibility as part of growing (up); and they both show how important (good) relationships are. And that they aren't based on similarity or appearance - or, at least, don't have to be...

Barbecue Season!

I recently read 'Treasure Island' for the first time, and saw one of the characters, the ship's cook, was called Barbecue (though he's better known by another name*), which made me think two things. One was to wonder what his cooking was like, and the other was to realise that I'd been to quite a few barbecues this year.

Now, obviously, Summer is the time to have barbecues if you're going to have them (though I know someone who will happily have them all year round), but I don't normally get to that many. I don't know why, if everyone's having them - and I don't know why I've managed to get to a few more this time.

The first ones I went to were in May, which I suppose isn't really Summer, but it was good weather, so why not? One was for a friend's birthday, and that was a really great occasion - a good time was had by all, inside as well as out. It was a real celebration, and I surprised myself by writing a poem about it.
And I got invited to another that month. It was at short notice, but I always appreciate being invited places, so I managed to get there. I was a bit nervous, because I didn't know how many people there I would know. But it actually turned out to be one of the best occasions I've been to for quite some time. There were only a few of us, but we all got on really well - lots of fun and laughter.

And I guess it was really that one that made me definitely decide to host one myself. I'm not good at hosting things, as I'm really bad at organising; but we have a barbecue, so I thought I'd give it a go. My housemate said it was all down to me, but I didn't realise until a couple of days before that he meant he wasn't going to be there. Which left me in a bit of a quandary, as I hadn't used a barbecue for years, and I'm a vegetarian, so I don't really know what cooking meat is like. However, I'd started it, so I meant to do it, so I figured I'd just have to figure something out on the day. I got in a few bits and pieces, like crisps and dips and some meat - and fuel, obviously - and waited to see who would turn up. I got a bit of a surprise when a friend I hadn't heard from in a while phoned me and came over, but that was good, as he then took over the barbecue - which left me free to welcome people and do drinks, as well as make a fruit salad. Which I thought would be easy enough, and it was. All in all, it kind of reminded me of my birthday party, which also worked out a lot better than I thought it might before, and had a surprising mix of people - who all got on really well. Maybe I just know a lot of very nice people.

And afterwards, I was left with a load of food - which was a problem, as most of it was meat. More than my housemate could eat, and I don't; but thankfully, another friend was having a barbecue the weekend after, so I passed a lot of it on to him. And that was the next barbecue I went to. Which was totally different to any of the others, mainly due to it being much bigger. Which meant I got to see other friends I hadn't seen for ages. And, surprisingly, ended up talking theology - which is something I don't get to do enough of, in my opinion. But something may have come out of that conversation which could change that. A bit, anyway.

Which brings me more or less up to date. There were a couple last weekend just gone, which were also good occasions where I spent time with friends I hadn't seen for a while - which definitely seems to be what barbecues are for. And at one of them I got a birthday invitation and an invitation to a prayer meeting; both of which I happily accepted, and am looking forward to. Friendships and God, what more could anyone want? And, if that's what barbecues have in store for me, I look forward to what might happen at the next ones, whenever they may be...

*By the way, Barbecue you may well know better as Long John Silver.

Be More Dog!

You may have seen some ads for a phone company with this slogan, and the idea (I think) that being a dog means being more enthusiastic about life. Now whether or not you agree with this, that's what I took from the ad - so when God pointed it out to me, and told me to do just that, I wondered if that was what He meant. What does it mean to be more doglike than catlike (and what does that have to do with mobile phones)?

This was the first thing that came to mind:-

Now I'm pretty sure I don't consciously go around with the attitude that I am God; but, I have to acknowledge that I tend to lean towards thinking I know best, and that things should be done my way. Not all the time, but enough to make sure that I don't put God in His rightful place at all times. Is it that attitude that leads to a lack of trust, or a lack of trust that leads to that attitude - or both leading to each other?

But the thing that really inspired this post was going out on with Street Teams last night and seeing some of the guys with their dogs. A couple of them who have had dogs for years now have several pups who are old enough to come out with them - we didn't really see them for several weeks just around when they were born - and watching the pups made me think about this subject again.

The first thing was obvious, which was that they didn't really stop moving, especially the pups. They were pretty loud, all of them, and that is clearly showing that they are interested in life; curious about everything, and interested in it all. And, also clear was the fact that dogs are very much family animals - whether it was with the other dogs or any of the people who were there, they seemed to prefer spending time with someone rather than being on their own. One in particular, called Otis, just never seemed to stop moving, going from one person (or dog) to another.

So, from that, I guess I can conclude that being interested in life and company is A Good Thing - and one of the things God wants me to be more like. But there were a couple of other things as well. One is that although most of the pups looked alike, they were clearly all different; quite varied in personality. And the other is that they seemed to be pretty much always hungry. Which means, I guess, that God wants me to be more enthusiastic about life, and hungry for the things of God, searching them out wherever they can be found.

I'll just leave you with this video:- and, remember, Be More Dog!

Two Birthdays To Baptisms

Two of my friends had their birthday last week - on the same day. But the celebrations weren't, so I got to celebrate two days in a row. Which was nice. And what was better was that both are friends I don't get to spend much time with, so that was a really good start to the week.

On the Sunday, there was an event called a Birthday Tea, which was just what it sounded like. A bunch of us converged on the house, and we had tea. And scones. Which were excellent - apparently James has won prizes for his scones several years in a row. It was a nice relaxed afternoon, with various friends from various places. It was nice to see them - and I'm sure Kirsteen felt the same. And the next day, another friend, who I hadn't seen for weeks at least, had his birthday. I had the day off then, which was unusual, and he had taken the day off, so we decided to go out for the day. We looked at several National Trust places, but decided to go to Slimbridge in the end. Which is a great place; the only drawback being that you pretty much have to drive to get there. But once you get there, it's well worth the drive. We wandered around looking at and feeding the flamingos and ducks and swans and pigeons and...well, you get the idea. And I got a pigeon to sit on my shoulder, which was a bit strange. There were new born flamingos to see, and we watched the otters being fed. All in all, we were there almost until closing time without realising. Definitely to be recommended at any time, though you won't always get to see baby flamingos. And then we went to the cinema to see '3 Days To Kill', which was definitely entertaining. I've been to the cinema more so far this year than I did all last year (as far as I remember), and all of the films have been worth watching.

The next couple of days I was in the Gloucester shop learning the new system, which was interesting, at least. I'm not sure what it will be like when we finally do go over to it, whenever that will be, but at least I know I can work it now. Tuesday evening I stayed in, cos I was exhausted, and Wednesday small group met at my house. And it was a very small group, as only 2 other people turned up. so we chatted for a while, and then spent the rest of the time praying about all the things we knew about that were going on with people we know.
Thursday evening was both happy and sad, as it was the goodbye meal for the Reads, who will be leaving the country probably forever. Which is good for them, and it was definitely a celebration in one sense, as it's been quite a journey for them to get to this point - but they will be missed. We will miss their presence, their smiles and laughter, and their caring natures. And we will miss seeing Adelaide grow up first hand. Still, at least we'll be able to keep in touch online; and we will. But, on the other hand, it was a really good evening all round.

I can't really remember anything much standing out over the next two days, but on the following Sunday there was another baptism service. Which is definitely a highlight of our church calendar; always a real celebration. Tim gave a sort talk about what baptism means, that it's an acknowledgement of grace:- that no-one is good enough, clean enough or British enough to earn His grace, but because God loves us He gives it anyway. This time I knew 5 of the people getting baptised, including someone I didn't know was until she got up to speak. She didn't tell anyone, and her fiance carried her change of clothes, so I didn't realise when I welcomed her at the door. But it was great to see her stand up and talk about what Jesus means to her. That was a great start to the people's stories, and I pretty much didn't stop smiling throughout, even when a couple of the stories brought tears to my eyes. As always, there were some wonderful stories, and the sight of a guy who was tall enough that he had to kneel down in the baptismal tank to fit in. But the best memory for me was the sight of a little girl, about 4-5, at the back wandering around - when each story finished and people clapped, she clapped along with them, even though she clearly didn't know why people were clapping. Another wonderful evening.

Magnificent Maleficent

I went to see 'Maleficent' a few weeks back, as I have a cineworld card, and I'm wanting to see a decent number of films. I think I've seen more so far than I did all year last year, and I enjoyed all of them. I would definitely see 'Maleficent' again, if I could persuade anyone to come with me.

It's a film about life and magic, but most of all about love. About romance, sure; but also about ambition, and proper parenting. That's love of power and love of children - or at least one child. That child being Aurora, otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty.

But it's not really about her, though she is a major character. It's about Maleficent, mainly (well, duh), and her experiences with love in many forms. It first displays itself as protecting, with everyone in her realm just caring for each other as a way of life. They act as if they honestly couldn't see any other way to live. And then the story starts. And a love of freedom, as most of them can fly - including Maleficent.

Things beging to happen, and things begin to change with the entrance of a human, a young boy; the first one she's ever seen. And she gets introduced to other forms of love, first friendship, then romance; which brings disappointment and heartbreak.

He gives her what he says is true love's kiss; but it was a lie. The boy got older, became a man, and the man had other loves. And, in the meantime, other people introduced yet more loves, in the form of love of wealth and power. The king of the land where the boy came from wanted Maleficent's land, and brought an army to take it.

Which introduced a love of battle - but the battle was short. The king was mortally wounded, and Maleficent won; but at a cost. She was betrayed, and lost her wings. The man the boy had become took her wings, and in return, became king, marrying the previous king's daughter.

And Maleficent changed. She stopped acting out of love, and started to rule by fear instead, locking away her realm with an impassable hedge of thorns. Well, almost. She could pass through, and did; turning up at the official presentation of the new king's daughter, Princess Aurora. Where she gave the new princess a gift, of sorts. Both a blessing and a curse combined. She promised that the princess would grow in beauty, being loved by all who met her; but that on her 16th birthday, she would prick her finger on the needle of a spindle and fall into a deathlike sleep. A sleep that could only be broken by true love's kiss - a curse which was, in her eyes, both entirely appropriate and unbreakable.

And so the new king did the best thing he could think of to try to avert catastrophe - he sent his daughter away in the care of three good, if somewhat incompetent, fairies until the day after her 16th birthday. You may doubt his love, but know that he never forgot his daughter.

And so Maleficent found herself in the unexpected position on looking after the child who she had no interest in, other than as a means to an end. She came to watch 'the little beastie', to see what happened, and found herself having to protect her more than once; though whether it was the blessing or the curse that inspired such, no-one will ever know.

And, deep in the heart of the forest, near the border of the two realms, tranquillity reigned. And peace grew in Maleficent's heart, as she came to be fond of 'the little beast'. And the two of them, princess and queen became something close to friends. But, then disaster struck, as the curse took hold; the truth was revealed, and Aurora ran from the only friend she'd ever known, back to the castle where her story began. A castle where all the spinning wheels in the kingdom had been collected and hidden away.

She arrived the day before her 16th birthday, and her father, who could see she was his daughter, tried to lock her away until it was safe; but the curse wouldn't be stopped. She went down to the dungeon, and pierced her finger, as she was cursed to do; and fell into a deathlike sleep. But there was hope. A prince from a nearby kingdom had met her a few days ago, and the fairies, Maleficent among them, wondered if he would be her true love. But, alas, it was not to be. He did indeed kiss her, but he didn't love her; and she didn't awake.

So Maleficent mourned. She vowed that not one day would pass without her trying to find a way to break the curse, and not one day would pass without her missing Aurora's sweet smile; and kissed her on the forehead. And Aurora awoke. The curse was broken by the one person who did love her, the one who had been around every day of her life, looking after her; true love indeed.

But the story doesn't end there. It continues with a dragon and danger, and flying and freedom, and a funeral; and it finishes with a celebration, a coronation to be precise. A princess became queen, and a queen abdicated; and the two realms became one. A happy ending if ever I heard one - and a story a bit different to the one you'll have heard, I've no doubt. A story about love, to be sure, but very little about romance.

Love, Tolerance, And Polish People

If you read a lot of stuff online, you will probably see a lot of people being intolerant, all over the place. And you will see a lot of people proclaiming tolerance as a great virtue. Sometimes (often?) the same people. So how does that work?

Well, possibly because tolerance isn't actually a virtue at all. I did think about calling this post 'Tolerance Isn't A (Christian) Virtue'; but I hope to be more positive than that. I once heard of a great example of the difference between love and tolerance from someone I used to work with. I used to work in a shop wih a guy called Maciej - nice guy, very friendly, spoke English really well. Probably better than some English people I know. So, when he mentioned to me one day that he had come to this country partly in order to improve his English, I was quite surprised; I couldn't see that it really needed improving. And a bit later, someone else mentioned that he had asked him to pick him up on his English whenever he said something wrong. And I realised that that is what the difference is.

I was quite happy with his English - 98% of the time he was perfectly understandable, and because of this, I didn't pick him up on it. But, unless people did that, his English wouldn't improve any more. And he wanted it to. It's a bit like patriotism. A lot of people think of 'patriotism' as being something along the lines of 'my country right or wrong is always right'; but, really, what it should be is 'my country is great, but it could be better if we did...' - again the same difference, love or tolerance. And it also brings to mind the fact that love is hard; it requires effort. And taking the time to pay attention to people.

love is hard

So, what about tolerance, then? Well, I still work in a shop, and I think of tolerance like this. We get Polish people come in sometimes, and sometimes, when I ask them if they need any help, they say 'just watching' instead of 'looking' (as an aside, do you English speakers know exactly what the difference is? Hmm). So, obviously, I immediately pick them up on that. Or, actually, not. But, you might say, that's just politeness. Yes, exactly. Which is why I say tolerance isn't a virtue. However, love is. And respect. And even politeness. So work on those - and other virtues.

love is hard... but it is worth it

Friends And Relationships

I have had several conversations recently that have stood out to me for different reasons. Different people, different circumstances have all pointed up things I may need to know, to pay attention to.

Friday
I had a conversation with one friend about a relationship I was having problems with, and forgiveness came up. Later, I met up with another friend, and he was talking about a talk he'd heard recently, which was talking about forgiveness and how it needs to work. Which made a lot of sense, and was really helpful at the time. And another thing he said was about the blog - that my strongest posts were ones where I was talking about ideas, rather than what I've been up to. Which is something I've been trying to do more of since then.

Saturday
Work as usual was followed by a BBQ to celebrate a friend's birthday. Which was really nice - one of the nicest evenings I've had in quite some time. Chilling with a bunch of friends, and a lot of silliness was the order of the day. And I managed to have a long, rambling conversation with the person I am having problems with. Which is a very good sign.

Sunday
A nice relaxing afternoon, where I wrote a poem about the previous evening. Which is good - writing is always good. And in the evening, we had a speaker talking about Compassion UK at church, and I thought about my sponsored child, who I haven't been in touch with for a while now. I was chatting with a friend, and she was saying that she was the same, that she hadn't written to hers for even longer. So we both came away feeling that that was something we needed to attend to - I haven't done it yet. I also met someone new at church who was just sponsoring a child, and met up with an old friend who is a Compassion advocate; it was good to see her, to catch up for a bit, and to find out what's new in her life.

Tuesday
I went round to see a couple of friends in the evening. They live pretty near me, and they have invited me to come round often; but I don't often take them up on it - the last time I went round was just after my birthday. But it's always a nice evening when I do go round; and this was no exception. There was a lot of laughter, and we talked about poetry, which is always a good thing.

Thursday
Two conversations stood out today; one on Street Teams and one with a friend a bit later.The first one was with a guy called Darren, who started talking about basically ghost stories that had happened to him. He said sometimes he felt that someone or something was trying to get through to him, and I just felt this nudge to suggest he asked God to speak to him. He said he felt that was a good idea, that he used to pray, and he felt he should get back to it; and also that he wanted to read the Bible more, and asked if he could ask me if he had any questions about it. I agreed, as long as he doesn't expect me to have all the answers, and he said that was fine. So I look forward to hearing more about what he finds. And the other was with a friend, to discuss an idea I had to start a Christian publisher. He was very encouraging, and suggested the next step was to pray about a mission statement, so I've been doing that.

Sunday
Sunday morning was the celebration of the dedication of Adelaide Read, and led to lots of generally quite chatty and relaxing conversations - celebration is always good. And in the evening I was chatting to a couple who may want to get involved with Street Teams. Which would be good, as we may well be losing a few members over the next few months.

So, all sorts of different conversations that made me think in some way about (my) relationships. Relationships both show you something of who you are, and to a certain extent shape you too. And the fact that mine are so varied is almost certainly a good thing. And thinking about them has brought certain things to mind. For instance, that relationships work best when you are able to just be in each others' company. However, conversely, they only really grow when you make the effort to actually do things together, to spend time together; it doesn't just happen. But, most importantly, they are one of the things that make life worth living.

Tweeting Or Twatting!

I joined Twitter earlier this year, on God's insistence; though, to be fair, I haven't really done much with it. But I thought I'd share a few thoughts about it anyway. Recently, I read this post and an article saying how it is on the verge of disappearing, which made me think.

It's been about almost as long as Facebook, and it's essentially easy to use; so, if it is going to disappear, why would that be? For the record, I don't think it is, nor do I think Facebook will. But, what is the difference?

The most obvious difference is that, due to it's format, it doesn't appear to have any ads. Which is kind of puzzling, cos you have to wonder how they can support themselves. The other main difference is that it is both more immediate and less social than Facebook - which, if it is shrinking would probably be why.

It's obvious why it is more immediate, but not quite so much why it is less social. The reason being, because of the limits of what you can put on there, you can't exactly have a conversation. Which ends up making it very self indulgent. There's not really any way you can develop a thought; you just have to say something and get it out there. Which makes it brilliant for advertising or publicity of any kind; but not so good for building relationships.

A bit like having a conversation via text tather than an actual phone call (remember those?). Which is why it should be remembered to be very careful what you say, because not only do the people who read it only have those words to go by; you don't even know who your readers are, necessarily. So, remember, more tweeting, less twatting - and by that, I mean both not hitting people over the head with your words, and not being a twat. Though I can't stop you.

Just my thoughts and musings on the matter. So, to finish, I'll give you this joke, which took 5 years to come to fruition...

On Being Resolved!

Well, this is a bit of an odd post. In that, normally, you would expect one like this to come at the beginning of a year. But I decided to leave it for a bit, because, although I can see some good in making resolutions at New Year, it's always felt somewhat artificial to me. And I think that resolutions can be done at any time, so it's better to think about them, and do them when you are clear on them.

So, my 'resolutions', such as they are, are a bit different to how you might expect. I've been thinking about what God has been doing, and what He has been showing me of what the future might hold; and resolved to try to go along with that, as much as possible.

Therefore, my first resolution is to keep working on relationships. Mainly those I already have, as that is difficult enough for me-and, as I get better at them, then I should get better at new ones, too. I have been putting a lot of energy into that over the past few months, and that has been good in several ways. I have learned a lot about myself by pushing myself in relationships, where previously I probably wouldn't have; and, though at times, it hs been exhausting, it has also been rewarding. I have changed for the better, in that I am finding relationships easier, and also enjoying them more. I am finding it more enjoyable spending time with people (though, as I'm an introvert, it can also be quite tiring at times, and I must watch that); and, more importantly, I'm getting to know new people. And I'm really glad I do.

My second is to try to be more open to God more often, and co-operate when He shows me stuff He wants me to do. He said a while back that the word He wants to use to sum up this year for me is 'surprise' (see here), and I'm kind of looking forward to that. But the important thing in that is that if I'm going to have anything change permanently, then I have to do things-but they have to be the right things. So, co-operation with God.

And, following on from that, the other resolution is to take opportunities more often. This goes along with both the previous ones; both in that God will offer me opportunities that I can choose to take (or not), and also, as I continue to build relationships, other possibilities will come up that I can choose to do something about. probably nothing bad will happen if I don't take them; but also, nothing will necessarily change. And change is an integral part of life, so, if I want to live, I have to be willing to change. Which I'm okay with, but, more importantly, I have to be willing to make change happen. I'm neither good at, nor comfortable with doing that; but, it is something that needs to happen. So I need to do it.

That's my resolutions. I'm putting them down here, for two reasons. First, to get them clear in my head; to know what I want and need, and what I have to aim for. And, second, to let others know, so you can help. Ask me about them, and encourage me in them. I hope you do. Thanks in advance.

Back To Normal-ness

Well, after all the fun and games going on over Christmas and New Year, normal life was always going to be a bit...well, bland. Which is mainly why I have taken so long to write about what has happened so far in this new year.

Because so far, not much has happened; either good or bad. I mean, obviously stuff has happened, I haven't just slept for almost a fortnight (though if I had, that might be worth talking about); but, not actually much of any interest. One highlight over the last 10 days was playing 'Zombies'-definitely good to know it was just as much fun the second time around-but, you know, not really something worth talking about in detail.

And, other than that, not really much has gone on. Work has been quieter than usual, overall, I think; and I haven't really gone out much in the evenings. So, so far, January has been a lot quieter than December; which is kind of to be expected, I guess. After all, with the end of the year celebrations, there's a lot more going on in December than most other times; and, not so many people want to really do much right after that because they're exhausted/feeling poor/needing to catch up on work/etc.

So, not much has happened. Yet. But I know that things won't continue in that vein, as I know certain things that are coming up soon. For instance, I'm going to a friend's flat warming party tomorrow, and my mum and my sister both have birthdays over the next week or so. Which will be good, and give me something more to talk about-if I get the time.

However, one thing that is worth talking about is the new course/programme/thing at church. Called 'How Do I Make The Most Of My Life?' it's going to be over 5 weeks-which means it will finish in the middle of Feb. Which means I can't really tell much about it yet, as we have only done one week of it so far. But it's been powerful so far.

I would say that what I have seen so far of this year is that it seems to be giving my relationships a (needed) boost. I'm not sure if there's a particular reason, but that definitely seems to be something that God has been blessing. And I have been responding well, and enjoying it.

And the other thing, which should be pretty obvious, is that I have been doing a lot more on this blog-and hopefully, some interesting posts coming up. I have had plenty of ideas (which doesn't seem to be changing, growing if anything), so I look forward to the future in that regard as well...

First Impressions - And The Rest

Well, after all the time it took to get sorted to get to New Wine, it seemed to come upon me very quickly. I kind of thought I would have loads of time to get ready, and then Sunday was upon me. At least I knew what it was like, and what I needed to take-and I wasn't taking a tent, which would be all ready for me when I got there. So we left Cheltenham shortly before 6, and got into Somerset just after 7-pretty good time, all told. probably because there was no other traffic most of the way at that time.

We got onto the site after the main meeting had started, but as we wanted to unpack, we didn't intend to go-so we had a fair bit of time to relax. The tent I was staying in was already up, so it didn't take me long, and I knew my way around the site, so I got to go into the meeting after all. And then after it, I popped along to the marketplace to say hello to my work colleagues (I was working in the art gallery) and find out when I was supposed to be in.
I was in at 10 a.m. the next day, though I didn't have to be. However, I wanted to have the evening off. It was a bit different from last year, when there were only 3 of us. Now there were 6, as there was supposed to have been last year, that meant we got time off. Which came as something of a shock to the system. And the way things worked out, it actually turned out that I had most of Tuesday off, as well-I was just on in the evening. So, in essence, I basically had 24 hours off. Which worked out really well for me. On the Monday evening, after the evening meeting, there was a quiz night, which was what I wanted to go to. I got in a team with a couple of friends and their friends, and a good time was had by all. We didn't win, but we did pretty well-and it was great fun. On Tuesday, God wanted me to fast during the day, which meant I didn't need to get to breakfast, so I had a leisurely shower, and got into the morning meeting a bit late. During which God told me that He wanted me to rest. Which I thought meant just that day, but actually turned out to be the theme for the whole week. So I didn't try to get to any seminars. I went off by myself and read some of  'The Prodigal God' for a bit-which naturally led into prayer and worship. In the afternoon, I went and spent some time with friends on the campsite, just chilling and relaxing. I felt like I got to know them a bit better, and really enjoyed it. A very good day, all in all.
The next day was the actual day off, and a whole bunch of us went into Castle Cary for a pub lunch, and then the girls went off shopping. The rest of us got back, and more chilling and chatting was the order of the day. Which more or less continued for the rest of the week. Most of my memorable moments were chatting with friends, including a good few gatherings in various people's tents after hours-and an idea for a couple I know to take on putting on my birthday celebration next year. Well, ours. We have one other friend whose birthday is the day before mine, so it looks as if it could well be a large joint celebration. Which I'm fine with, as long as I don't have to do most of the organisation.

Something God has been nudging me continually for some time now, is the importance of relationships; and, for me, that's what New Wine was really all about this time. I loved it all.

Virtual Relationships

Just a quick one this time. Hopefully, anyway, as I have some sort-of half formed thoughts that I want to explore here. Recently, I set up a page on Facebook to collect and share blogs by Christians (it's called 'Brilliant blogs - and mine' and can be found here, if you want to look it up), and, because of that, I have been getting in touch with a lot of people. Mostly people I know.

And, obviously, I have mainly been getting in touch with them online. Not exclusively, but clearly, when I'm talking about 'things' that 'exist' online, then it makes sense to communicate mainly online. So it makes it as easy as possible to access the 'things'. By which I mean the page and the blogs I'm 'collecting'. Which leads me to think about reality, and, well, not reality. Blogs are clearly real, but what really are they? Even as collections of words, they have no tangible, 'touchable' reality; but why should that make them less 'real' than a printed page, than an article or book? And, given that the words in whatever form are expressing something even less tangible, thoughts or some other expression, but which is still 'real'; given this, what does 'reality' mean anyway? And, what does it matter?

And the other thing that came out of this was how I got in touch with people. I don't mean through messages exactly, but rather the fact that, as I have been doing it, I have been in touch with people I haven't been in touch with for a while, and there has been something more than just the passing of information. We have been asking and sharing something of ourselves. Which, you know, is kind of to be expected; what with it happening all the time and all. But I didn't expect it really. I was thinking about passing on information, but the act of communication carried with it more than I planned.

So that's what I wanted to share today. No conclusions, as it were, just kind of dropping some thoughts out there to see what anyone thinks...

Things I Could Have Done (This Weekend)

Well, I could have done quite a lot of things this weekend just gone, though not all at the same time, of course. The main thing that stopped me from doing most of them was the fact that I worked on the Saturday-not being able to get the time off.

The first of these was my friend Richard's ordination as a priest. I missed his first ordination (as a deacon) due to my own incompetence, and I would really have liked to have been able to be there at this one; but, alas, it was not to be. I saw him the other day, and he seemed to think it went okay. He said the actual cathedral service was just going with the flow, as it were. The thing he was more concerned about was his first Holy Communion-him taking the service, I mean. And everyone else seemed to think that went okay, so I think he's got nothing to worry about. And if you want to read about it all in his own words, you can do that here.

Richard's first communion-he lives in a rural parish, so they thought this appropriate. Photo by Nick Eden.

And the other big and important thing I could have done this weekend was help out at the ALPHA weekend away. I have done this before, and, although it's always very tiring, it's always great fun, and very rewarding. Even helping with the catering, which is what I have done mostly, it is still amazing to get some sense of what God is doing there and then in people's lives. From what I could make out from what was put up on Facebook, it was an absolutely fantastic weekend, as is to be expected from past experience.

Other things I didn't do on Saturday were to meet up with a friend in town; though that wasn't my fault. I tried to get in touch with him, and he didn't reply, so that was a no-go. And I did think about going to the theatre with another friend Saturday evening, but when it came to it, we were both just too tired. I also relaxed pretty much Sunday during the day, but in the evening was the culmination of the ALPHA weekend, in a way, baptisms at church. And I was definitely there for that. That was an emotional time, as there were a couple of people I know who I didn't know were getting baptised; so that was wonderful.

A Letter To Benjamin

At church last week, we had another big promotional campaign for Compassion UK. There are a lot of people around who already support a child through them, but there are still people who want to do it-and as our Compassion advocates could tell you, there are always more children who need support. And the really great thing about how it is all set up is that supporting a child actually supports their whole family.

Anyway, it reminded me that it was about time I wrote to my sponsored child again-Benjamin Mutai is his name. I last got a letter from him in November, but he has heard from me since. His birthday is in December and then obviously there was Christmas, so he had a card from me both those times. I just hadn't sent a letter. And now I have. Last time he wrote, he was talking about his dreams. He wants to be a teacher. Apparently, all the children there know that education is their best hope, so they work really hard at school-he's particularly good at Maths and Science and enjoys them, so I wonder if he will go into teaching one of those subjects. At the moment, his letters are really short, as he's only 8. He basically gets interviewed about a subject, and gives quite short answers. And probably the fact that it has to be translated doesn't help with that.

And my replies aren't able to be much longer either, as we only have a small amount of space to write in. Which is fair enough, as he's still young-I wonder if there will be more space as he gets older. Anyway, I wrote my letter. He told me about his dreams, so I told him about one of mine. I told him I want to be a writer, and help encourage people through what I write. I did wonder how to tell him about this blog, but couldn't think how to do it. So I just told him that I wrote poems, I think. So now I'm waiting to see what he thinks of that.

If you want to support a child yourself, just follow the link here. I would recommend it if you can. And I would recommend it even if you don't think you can

And Then There Was One...

Well, this was a most unusual week; my flatmate finally left for Great Yarmouth on Wednesday. Wherever that is. As he has been here for several years (8? 9? I honestly can't remember), it was a bit of a shock to think that he's actually gone.

He left at 9:30 in the morning, so I stayed in my room until he'd gone. But I wasn't really sleeping. For some unknown reason, I woke at about 8, and couldn't really get back to sleep-I sort of drifted in and out for a while. So I could hear him going about his business with packing and stuff; and it was surprisingly emotional. Among other things was shock that it was actually happening, and kind of a sense of loss. Oh, alright, I'll admit it-I'll miss him. He's a nice guy to be around, and Great Yarmouth is a bit of a distance.

So I went to work as normal, cos, you know, I had to, and I don't really remember anything much about that. I'm guessing it was a pretty ordinary day-a lot of them are. And then I got back in the evening, and the place felt strange. Not that he's usually in at that time, he would often be at work, but somehow it just felt different. Thankfully, I didn't spend the whole evening on my own-a friend of mine came round to pray. Which was particularly good, as I could do with the company at the time.
So, we chatted and prayed, and had strawberry flavour cider. Which tasted like strawberries, unsurprisingly. I couldn't really see why they called it cider at all. Nice, though-I recommend it. And then tried to figure out meeting up again. It looks as though I may well be quite busy most evenings over the next week or so, which will probably be good, as I won't be able to think about things too much. I have a week off coming up, which I'm trying to work out some things to do to fill. Interesting things-I don't just want to fill it for the sake of it, I want to do things I actually want to do. Like play 'Risk'. That's probably my favourite board game, and I don't get to play it much-mainly cos even a short game takes several hours. If you play the full game, it could be a very long time. But if I've got the time off, then that may well be the time to go for it.
I was originally intending to be out Thursday and Friday evenings as well, but I ended up being too tired. And now I'm starting to find things are beginning to look slightly different. I'm starting to see the positive side of being able to do what I want to do, but I know that that will only be an advantage in the short term. The landlord wants to redecorate a bit before getting someone else in, but I hope I'm not on my own for too long. I know that's not good for me-I'm perfectly capable of not talking to anyone else for days if that happens. Which I know isn't good for me. But in the short term, change isn't a bad thing, and it's good for me to remember that.

Carols-Some By Candlelight

Not exactly chrononlogical this post, as they're spread out over the month; but for me, carols are an integral part of preparing for Christmas. Something I always look forward to and enjoy.

The first one was in the middle of the month-at a university campus. I have a friend who is a chaplain's assistant at the local uni, based at Pittville, which is a bit out of the way. So part of his job is to come up with events that the students can do - and if that has some relationship to church, that's all the better. So, for him, doing a carol service was both good fun, and completely within his remit. I went along because he invited loads of people he knew, presumably with the idea that at least some people would know the carols. And, obviously, we might enjoy it. That's why I went along, anyway. And I definitely did enjoy it. Apart from it being in the S.U. bar, it was a pretty traditional service, though instead of a sermon, the talk was someone giving us his story about how he came to know God. Which was brilliant in itself. I can say that everyone seemed to enjoy it, and he said that one of the students came along to church the next Sunday because of ;)it-and came to know God for herself. Even more brilliant. Well done Joe ;)

The next couple I went to I didn't really get to take part in properly, though I still had a good time. They were both ones at my church, and I was helping serve mulled wine, spiced apple, and mince pies after the service. As a result, I didn't really get to be in the actual service much, as it takes a while to produce enough for several hundred people. In the first one, I went in for a short while, and for the second, there was a video link; which was good, but not quite the same as being in the church. However, in both of these, I had a great time after the service mingling with all and sundry. Lots of people there, including quite a few I hadn't seen for quite some time. After the first, I heard that a couple of people came to know Jesus for themselves, which is also brilliant; haven't heard about the others yet.
And then I went to another service at St Matthews, which was a bit different. A lot more structured (as far as I could tell, anyway), and they had a choir. What was particularly good about this one was that I saw some friends I don't see very often. Which was nice. And then I went back to my church to meet up with people after the service, which was just finishing-nice timing. More mince pies and mulled wine, and the opportunity to actually chat to a few or more people this time. A very good way to prepare for Christmas, in my opinion. :D