A Different Prayer

Last week, on my day off, I sat down to pray. Now, obviously, this in itself isn't that unusual, as I pray quite often-every day, more than once, generally. But this was a little bit different. Just a bit. As I didn't have any particular schedule until later in the day, I decided to just sit and wait with God, and see what happened.

I basically sat there and said 'ok God, here I am', and waited. I found that I was putting down all the things that were on my mind, as it were, as if they were in between me and God; and I was letting go of them. The interesting thing was that some of them were really small, as if they weren't really in the way at all, I hardly noticed them until I had put them down; and some of them were much bigger. Not huge so that I could hardly carry them, but definitely much bigger than some of the others.

Now some of them I could see were small because I wasn't particularly bothered by them. I mean they were-and are-real issues, but I could either see that God has been doing stuff to deal with them, which is ongoing, or I pretty much completely trusted that they would be dealt with. The couple that were much bigger, I felt that they could and would be dealt with, but at that point, I didn't know what to do next. So they were very much on my mind. I was actually a little reluctant to let go of them; but I did it. And then, after waiting for a while (I genuiely have no idea how long), God asked me about something that wasn't on my mind, but I hadn't noticed that I put down.

Clearly I had let go of it some time before, but it was still an issue that needed to be dealt with. Or maybe not, I don't know. Still, it surprised me, that that was what He wanted to ask me about. I really didn't know how I felt about it, and still don't; except I can honestly say I'm not bothered by it, however it works out. Maybe that was what He wanted to get across to me; that in letting go of something, it is the way to get His peace on it. I read something recently that said something along the lines of 'if you want to get God's peace which passes understanding, then you have to let go of wanting to understand'. Which is relevant to another issue at the moment.

On Sunday, we had a guest speaker in church, a missionary who lives and works in Burundi. At one point, he prayed for people who wanted guidance. I waited to see what God would say, and He said 'keep going'. Which is kind of encouraging, because it means I'm doing something right; but I don't know what, really. But I should let go of trying to understand. Listen to what I know He has said, and act on that. That's all I need to do at the moment. So that's what I'll keep aiming to do.