Communions

I may have mentioned that church a couple of days ago was a communion service, but I didn't mention that I started thinking about communions and how some of them have affected me. This was partly because this was a topic of conversation at New Year; and partly because it's not something we do all that often at my church, so when we do, I kind of notice.

So, communions I have known (or, at least remember). Starting with the most recent-the first of this new year. What I remember feeling most about this one was that it seemed to be a welcome. Hugs and handshakes going on all over. As well as the service itself being welcoming, due to the fact that there were loads of people there I hadn't seen for a while; it felt like a welcome to me due to the fact that the last time I had been at church (Christmas Eve) was also a communion service, and so, it felt like a continuation in a way, linking to last year. Maybe just for me, but that is what it felt like. So, not something new, but the next step to the next stage of whatever God has for me, here and there.

So, the last one I went to, at midnight Christmas Eve, stood out for slightly different reasons. Of course, there were people there I hadn't seen for a while, some of them not at the new year service; but that's not what I remember most about it. What stands out about the actual communion is the fact that I got given a large piece of bread. Let me explain. One communion I will always remember was one from a youth camp somewhere somewhen which was also done with bread that we could break off ourselves; and I remember clearly noticing that there was plenty of bread left over. God spoke to me about that, saying 2 things: one was that there is always plenty of him to go around; and, the other thing was a warning, almost, just pointing out that the reason there was so much bread left over was because people hadn't taken it; so how often do we not get as much of/from Him than we need because we don't do what we need to? To get back to Christmas, the reason this stood out was that it felt like God was just pointing out that He was giving Himself to me generously. Because it was Christmas? Because it was near the end of the year? Or just because He's God, and He likes doing things like that? It doesn't really matter, just that it did bring that to mind for me.

Another one I remember clearly is the one from last year's Good Friday service. I always like the good Friday services, which are always quiet and meditative; and completely different every year. This year, it was based around an art exhibition, so there were paintings along the walls; and, as part of it, we were directed to look around at them. I say 'directed', but that isn't quite accurate, one of the features of these services is that they are designed to be as free as possible, with a minimum of liturgy. However, the reason this one stands out in my memory is that it was the first time I have helped with the communion itself. I felt it to be a real privilege; the whole thing felt different to me.

And the other one which will stick in my mind for a while, for completely different reasons is one where I didn't take part in the communion at all. Because I was unable to, due to crying so much. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I was crying; but, at the time, I was going through a very stressful time I think I just needed to let go. I started crying at some point during the worship, and continued until some point after the communion had finished; and I just couldn't move. However, I definitely don't feel that I missed out-God was with me in and through that. Communion is one point that He asks us to meet with Him; but He doesn't want us to be religious about it - He isn't.