Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys!

You may have seen this phrase roaming around social media recently; it seems to be popping up all over the place. There's even a couple of pages by the name now - which is where this pic came from:-

As you can see, it's a Polish proverb, so I asked a Polish friend what it means, so I got the sense of it right (though, to be honest, it's pretty straightforward). She told me it's basically the same as 'none of my business'; though much more expressive. Which may tell you something about the English character.

Anyway, the phrase kind of stuck in my head and made me think about monkeys. I went to Kenya a couple of years back now, and when we were there, we saw plenty of monkeys. They weren't everywhere, but they were quite common, and there was one feature of monkeys that soon becomes obvious - monkeys do what they want to do. They're pretty much uncontrollable; and completely chaotic. So, what does that say about life? If the 'monkeys' are our circumstances, our feelings, everything that goes to make up our personal situations, does that mean that life is barely controlled chaos?

After all, even though circuses are made up of well rehearsed performances; they're still bright and colourful and explosively eye-catching, with what look like incredibly risky close calls sometimes. Certainly sounds like a much better description of life than business. Relationships should never be treated just as a business transaction. Ever. Relationships mean treating people as people, seeing them as interesting unpredictable individuals who can be worse than you fear and kinder than you dream - which will definitely be chaotic, and probably messy at times. But that's the difference between love and tolerance - which I also wrote about in this other post involving Polish people.

(And apart from the fact that God wants us to love everyone - not just tolerate them - there's always the fact that if you help others deal with their monkeys, they may just help you deal with yours...)

Two Months Gone!

Well, where does all the time go? It flies when you're enjoying yourself, and even when you're not, it still - somehow - disappears. And once it's gone, it's gone; you can't get it back.

Just about two months back I decided to take a break from writing this blog, because I was getting a bit stressed with doing it. Not because I wasn't enjoying it, but just because I couldn't keep up with doing it. The busier I was, the more interesting things I had to write about, and the less time. When I wasn't busy, I struggled to think of things to post on; but when I had things to write on, I couldn't do it. So I decided to stop temporarily.

I didn't know how long it would be, but I was thinking it would be about a month. Clearly, as you can tell, it was longer, and it could have been longer still. I didn't have any idea of how long it would be when I started to stop, and that made it more difficult to stop stopping, as it were. It did get to a point where it felt like it was starting to get harder and harder to think about starting again; so, I kind of had to decide I was going to, or I could have continued procrastinating forever. I'm good at that.

 But when I started this blog, I wanted it to keep going on. If it does ever come to an end, I want it to be a proper end - i.e. that I decide that this ends for this reason and this other thing is started instead. Which may happen in time, who knows. But what I don't want is for it to just stop.

Like that. So, I've finally started again, thank God. I thank Him anyway, because I'm pretty sure I would have continued to struggle if He didn't help me. I had plenty of ideas, but somehow never got around to writing any of them down. And then I had a week off, and I really wanted/hoped that I would get something on the blog this week.

However, I still didn't know whether I actually would. I know what I can be like. But here we are - I've written this and you're reading it. And it's not actually the first new post - this is.

Playing, With God

This post is sort of about the new EP from Trinity, but it's not exactly a review. It's more sort of about my experience listening to it. But, as you read it, my impression of it should be clear. (Spoiler - I like it. A lot.) To set the scene, last night I was on Facebook and I saw something from Lana Vawser about just spending time with God and basically appreciating His presence. I was at home on my own, so I thought what better time than now, and I thought I'd listen to this:-

(Colours is actually one of the songs, but this is what the cover looks like - it was the best pic I could find)

So I turned off the computer and turned on the CD, and just sat  - with God. And I experienced His presence. But not in a kind of overwhelming way. He was absolutely, definitely there, but in a sort of quiet way, like I could just spot Him out of the corner of my eye, as it were. It kind of felt like He was dancing around, coming close then jumping back just out of reach laughing, and with a sparkle in His eyes. The word that sums it up for me is 'playful' - which is where the idea for the title came from.

I like the whole thing - which is why I've been listening to it on repeat since then, and not got tired of it. Partly, I think, this is because each of the songs are so different. At least, that's how they sound to me. But here are some thoughts and/or impressions from some of them.

'River Run', the title track is, to me, both gentle and poetic. It reminded me of a poem I read about people without hope - except here, there is Hope. And an invitation.
'First Love', another one sung by Jules Woodbridge, is beautifully passionate. It reminds me of an album written and recorded by a Christian couple just after a personal tragedy, where they sung about trusting God and relying on Him, and you could feel that they meant it. That it meant something to them. And in the same way (though completely different), this song makes me feel that Jules knows Jesus. She loves Him, and she knows she loves Him; and this comes across so strongly.
'Colours' (mainly) by Jemima Woodbridge, who is clearly developing into a great (singer and) songwriter, on the strength of this; but it resonates with me for personal reasons. I've been thinking a lot about art and creativity recently (yes, more than usual), and this goes right along with that; that anywhere there is beauty, there God can be known.
And 'Grace Has Won', sung by Josh Chesworth and Becky Bull, which feels to me somewhat like a hymn. Which is definitely a good thing. There are lots of great hymns with fantastic words and tunes, and this has something of that to it. Plus it has Becky singing, which is always a good thing, so I'll leave you with that. Enjoy...

What's The Point Of Christian Fiction, Anyway?

I recently wrote a review of a novel by a new Christian author, and am currently reading 'Heidi' by Johanna Spyri; both of which talk about God clearly, but in completely different ways.

Hardly surprising, as one is set in a dystopian future and the other is set in the Swiss mountains in the late 1800s - I'll let you guess which one is which. However, one thing they do have in common in this regard is that they both talk about God in how He is there, and involved in the characters everyday lives.

But 'Heidi' wouldn't ever have been regarded as 'Christian fiction'; indeed the author would have probably had trouble understanding what the term meant. But it's not because 'back then' everyone wrote about God so it wasn't anything special - that's clearly wrong, for instance, Jane Austen's novels have hardly any mention of God, and yet she was a vicar's daughter who wrote poems and prayers that are full of faith - but rather the opposite. There was no 'Christian fiction' because it was quite 'normal' to read about God. Not everyone wrote about Him, but no-one thought it anything out of the ordinary when people did. And, more importantly, no-one minded particularly.                                   

But now, the prevailing opinion is that 'no-one wants to read about God'; or, at least, not enough people to make it worth trying to market it. And so, a market has grown up for those who do - and for those who naturally do want to 'write about God' (or at least include Him), this has become the natural market to aim for. Seems sensible to find the people who will probably want to read what you want to write.        

But 'Christian fiction' means more than that, or it has come to. It was designed for those who were fed up with not being able to find something to read that didn't contain bad language, drunken excess, violence and sex scenes. You may ask what's wrong with having those in a book, and I can say 'nothing, as long as it adds to the story'. Having them in doesn't make a book good, or not make it bad - that's my view on it.  And I've read plenty of both.

And I can also say that I have a lot of sympathy with this view. I read a lot of chick lit/romantic type fiction and I have to say that after a while sex scenes begin to get a little...boring. There's only so many ways you can describe it, after all. I often find myself wanting to skim through those scenes in order to get back to the story. There's one series of books I read set in Regency times, and in pretty much all of them the couple has sex before the wedding day. Now I realise there were quite a few 'honeymoon babies' who came suspiciously early - or might have - but it would have been far less than in modern times. Still, every single one of the books also features a love match, and that certainly wouldn't have been the case.

The problem comes if or when it becomes more important to have certain elements and exclude others. In both the books I mentioned at the start, God appears naturally, because everything that could be included naturally is, and a relationship with God is treated exactly the same way. Which is exactly the way things should be (and how John Grisham, for instance, gets away with openly talking about faith issues in his novels), but while we still have a situation where, for the most part, God is 'excluded', then unfortunately, the current situation is the best we're going to get. We just have to hope that Christian writers (and readers) get more daring with what is acceptable.

Blank Page...

Sitting in front of a screen, sighing, wondering what words to write. I have words at hand, just waiting for me to reach out and grasp them - but which ones? And in what order?


Sometimes I just have ideas, or images of something not quite... there. Not quite clear. Or whole. Maybe the words would come easily, oh so easily if, when the ideas become what they could be, should be.


And when that idea comes, where will it go? How will it get there? How do I get there? What path do I follow? Or make? Where do I forge my own route? Where will I go? Where will I end up? Sounds a bit like an adventure, yes - exciting? It could be, hopefully will be - but not yet.


I haven't got there yet. I haven't got anywhere, it seems. And, it seems like I'm never going to get anywhere. Not at the moment. Maybe not ever. Who knows, maybe I'll never write again.


I know what I want to say. Almost. Sort of. I'm just not sure how to say it. Where to start, where to go next. What words, phrases will be best, be right. If any - there have to be some, right? Right?


I've done it before; I must be able to do it again. I must. It can't be that difficult. It can't. It is. It was never this difficult, I'm sure. I can't do it, I'll never do it. Never again. I give up...

I Am Margaret

I recently read an ebook - a debut novel by a Catholic author. I was given Amazon vouchers for my birthday, and was wondering what to spend them on, when I saw an ad for this:-
                                              
                                                            

This is the cover for 'I Am Margaret', and I think it's brilliant. It's both simple and powerful, partly because it is so stark. It gives something of an impression of what the novel holds, while also showing somewhat the tone of the novel. Stark and powerful - both the cover and the novel itself.

Set in a dystopian future, it is the story of Margaret, who is judged imperfect and taken to the Facility, where she will ultimately be dismantled, broken down for spare parts while fully conscious - unless she can escape. But no-one has ever escaped from a Facility before...

And it is the story of those in the Facility with her, not all of whom survive. The Facility is the ultimate expression of the world they exist in; a world where people are valued for what they are rather than who they are, a world where the material is all that is allowed to exist.

Without giving too much away, I will say that there is more going on in this book than at first appears on the surface - and that 'I Am Margaret' is the title of more than just this book. It peels back the layers of society in much the same way as the society peels away the layers of those who are dismantled; and it questions whether people really are just what they seem on the surface. Is there more to life than this - and, if so, what?

I also really liked the characterisation of the various people in the book, both guards and inmates. Particularly the character of Sarah, who is brain damaged due to an accident in her childhood; and genuinely has no idea of why she is there, and not much more of what could happen, what will happen.

This reminded me a bit of 'The Cure' by Michael Coleman, and like that ended with a note of hope; but unlike that, the story doesn't end here. This is the first of a trilogy, and I have to say I'm very much looking forward to the next in the series. but for now, I'lll leave you with this trailer:-

                                                                  

The Trouble With Modern Vampires

I talked about vampires before, and I described how they changed from being seen as evil spiritual beings to just beings - that may or may not be evil. Which leaves us with a problem. Simply put:- Where Does The First Vampire Come From?
                                                 

I mean everyone knows how new vampires are made; at least in as much as they know that one vampire bites a human - the process differs from story to story. But the essential point about that is that there is already a vampire there (well, duh). But before that, how do we get from no vampires to lots of them?

If we start off from the idea that they are demonic somehow, then we have a place to start. We get that they must be evil, or at least damned. We understand that they can have powers that humans don't tend to have, as well as 'living' forever. And we can accept that they have weaknesses - because, though demons are powerful, they are far from omnipotent - whether you believe in one god or more. Even the whole idea of undeath is a 'weakness' - it's the closest the demons can get to giving eternal life. And it also gives some idea of demons' character:- that what they offer is something that no sane person would seek. That all makes sense in a sort of twisted way.

But if we remove the demons and/or evil from the equation, how do we make sense of the vampires. If they were made by some random god/spirit, why? And why those weaknesses? For instance, traditionally, the best woods to make stakes from were rowan and hawthorn; which often grew in graveyards - consecrated ground. But, more obviously, why would crosses have any power over them? Unless there really is power there. Every way we look at it, a demonic origin seems to make the only kind of sense it is possible to make.

If we take the idea that they are just immensely powerful beings of some kind, then it is even nonsensical. Because, clearly, vampire abilities don't make sense in the 'normal' laws of biochemistry. So, if the 'original' stories were some sort of morality tale, then, in context, they made as much sense as such stories were ever going to make. Simply put, they are about good versus evil; a struggle which, ultimately, evil will always lose - and it doesn't have ever complete free rein. It seems that, in trying to make sense of them for a modern age, they make less sense than they used to - the more realistic people try to make them, the more fantastical they become. And if there ever were any grain of truth, they are now even less believable...

Three Comedies - And A First

I've had a very bust weekend just gone, what with watching three films. All comedies, in case you were wondering. Which makes nine since I first got my unlimited card.

I was going to see 'The Inbetweeners 2' with a friend, but she could only manage Friday, and it wasn't on in Cheltenham then. But then I realised I would be working in Gloucester on Friday, so I just randomly checked to see what was on there; and it was on. At 7:45, which was fine, apart form the fact that I didn't know what to do in between then and finishing work at 4:30 - no pun intended. So, I decided to see 'The Boxtrolls' on my own. Yes, it is the first time in a while (about 20 years) since I watched a film at the cinema on my own, but I have done it before - so that's not the first. Nor is it going to see two films in one day, though that's also something I haven't done for a long time - and possibly should do more often, at least while I have the cineworld card anyway.

Incidentally, for those who haven't yet seen it, 'The Boxtrolls' is absolutely fantastic. Both exactly what you'd expect, and completely different at the same time. What I mean is that it's a brilliant children's film, with great animation, really funny with a touch of magic - well worth watching for those reasons alone. But the things you wouldn't necessarily expect beforehand are the plot, the characterisation, the surrealness, and the mild obsession with cheese. Which, you know, is definitely intriguing.

And 'The Inbetweeners' was just as funny, but in a completely different way. Which was probably a good thing. Anyway, it was a really good film, and I would also recommend you consider it - if you like that sort of thing. Which clearly I do. But 'The Boxtrolls' is good for everyone. And when I was on the bus on the way home, there were a whole bunch of students, and I couldn't help thinking about the film while hearing their somewhat random comments.
                                                      

But then we get to Saturday, and after a long day at work, I had an unplanned nap before heading out to a film premiere. Which was the first - I can definitely safely say I have never been to a film premiere before. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered. Just for those who weren't sure, it's called 'Broken Leg', and that's the promo poster. The reason I got to go is that one of the writers/producers has a sister (and brother in law) who lives in Prestbury so the U.K. premiere was at their house. So, the first film premiere I've ever been to (did I mention that?), and not only that, but the first film showing where I got to meet one of the actors - Sarah Sawyer, who plays Karla. She's over here for a year, studying at the Bristol Old Vic; past alumni of which include Patrick Stewart and Daniel Day Lewis. So, hopefully, this could be just the start of what she gets up to. And if you want to find out more about Broken Leg, you could check out the  facebook page- or watch the trailer below. It is a brilliant watch, by the way; a fun and funny family friendly film. Go track it down - you won't regret it. Really you won't.   

                                                       

Chilli Cocktails

I've had an interesting weekend - and a pretty busy one for a change. Usually Fridays and Saturdays are most likely to be free evenings for me, but this week I was out both. And at parties both of them too.

The first was a spectacular combination of events. It was a house warming and a birthday party, also combined with the annual chilli challenge. Which is pretty self explanatory, really. I'm not sure whether this is the third or fourth, but I do know I missed the last two, at least. So I wasn't going to miss it this time. Generally, it was, you know, just like any other party, except with the main attraction of the chillis in the middle of the evening:-
                                          

So, there we have the Master of Ceremonies and host letting everyone know what the rules are before the next chilli is consumed, and we had three five six rounds (I think). To be honest, it was all a bit random in my mind; but it finally got down to three of us, and then it was decided by a vote - probably because Dave didn't want to have the Scotch Bonnet. And after having one, I can see why. I did decide right after that I wouldn't - ever - do that again, but I'm not feeling so strongly now, even a couple of days later. By next year..? Probably want to push it as much as possible again.

So, apart from the minor discomfort of a couple of the chillis, it was just generally a really nice and relaxing evening with friends. Lots of friends. And a couple of people I didn't know who were just as friendly. And a very nice evening that was over far too soon. Probably a good thing though, as I had to work the next day. Which was fun. No, really, it was quite a nice day; even if I was a bit tired.
And then off to Gloucester for the second party in as many days. A much more colourful affair, this one, as it was Hawaiian themed.

I got there a bit late, but as I was still there before the birthday girl, I wasn't entirely sure which table was ours. Thankfully someone saw me with a present and asked if I was there for Helen's party, so after that everything worked out well. Bright colours, colourful cocktails (and food), great company, lots of laughter, a parrot and a flamingo. And I got given a very colourful garland (a lei?). What more could you want from a party? Alcohol? Well, we were in a cocktail lounge. Silliness? Well, with a mastering of completely British understatement, I have given very little idea of just how silly the whole evening was; just go with more. I haven't even tried to describe what happened to the parrot and the flamingo during the course of the evening, and I'm not sure I could.

So, after getting to bed at about 4:30, I didn't do much on Sunday except go to church in the evening - wearing my my lei. Because, after all, why not? Church is supposed to be a celebration, and when else would I get the opportunity to wear it. It was interesting to see just how many people didn't pay any attention to the fact I was wearing it, and I gave it to someone who will probably wear it a lot more often than I would. A great weekend, with some strong and colourful memories, and I'm pretty sure I've made some new friends...

What I Learned From Books 3: Love And Romance (And Maybe Sex)

One of the things that surprises at least some people is the fact that I read so many books which fit into the category of 'chick-lit'. Some people are fine with the idea, but there are some people who do seem to have difficulty fitting it into their mental picture of me, for some reason. I'm not sure why - when I say I read pretty much anything, I mean it. Of course there are some things I tend to prefer (and I don't often read technical manuals for fun), but as I read a couple of hundred books a year, there's plenty of space for pretty much everything in there...

So, for those slightly less aware, what is 'chick-lit' anyway? Isn't it just romance? Not exactly, but that's still pretty close. It's like the difference between 'rom-coms' and 'chick flicks'. The main difference in my opinion is humour; 'chick-lit' does cover more than just romance, but the thing that they all have in common (at least the ones I've read) is a robust sense of humour. 'Chick-lit' does cover more, but it's rare that romance doesn't feature at all.

So, having read definitely over a hundred of them, what have I learned about life - and relationships? Well, apart from the fact that romance still seems to be incredibly important to women in general (and that men in general seem to be pretty bad at it - not just me, then), there do seem to be a few recurring themes. Which eitther mean that the authors are pretty unimaginative, or real life really is this messy. I'm going for the second option, personally. These general themes are: life is difficult; relationships are difficult; marriage. Oh, and sex rears its many splendoured head time and time again. The first one is kind of obvious, really - if everything goes smoothly, there wouldn't be much of a story. Ever. And if anyone tries to say that's unrealistic, that life is easy; I would just gently suggest that you probably don't live in the same world as approximately 98% of the world's population, somehow. But that's really just background; it's the second one, that relationships are difficult that the majority of the stories are about.

And they get to be made difficult for two main reasons, really. All relationships suffer from breakdowns in communication; sometimes it seems that they are shaped by the secrets they keep - and share. And I do mean all relationships - with friends, work colleagues, and family members, as well as romantic partners. It almost seems that no-one really trusts anyone - but that can't possibly be true.
And romantic relationships also are affected by attraction. And sex. Surprisingly, sex isn't just had by people who fancy one another - and even when it is, attraction can and does fade. The thing that puzzles me, that I just can't get my head around, is how people can see sex as meaningless and at the same time so important that it's one of the main things (romantic type) relationships are centred on. Not the only one, I know; but it's so rare for it not to be there that I almost think it's implied to be the only vital thing. (Of course, these are all in books, obviously; so they don't relate at all to real life? Right?)

And marriage. You might be surprised that I mention that, as I'm talking about books that are basically talking about romance - so marriage is pretty much to be expected, right? Well, when I thought about it, it did come as a surprise to me. We're always being told/shown in the media, in books, that romance and relationships don't have to end in marriage; or even have it as an aim anymore. No-one would be surprised to hear that; yet in these particular books marriage is a big thing - and not just in the ones in a historical setting, either. It's far more common than not for marriage to be a major part of the plot - and that does come as a surprise.


And I think I'll leave you with this cartoon from xkcd which neatly covers the first three points...

Holiness And Boredom

A bit of an odd title, you may think - or you may be entirely happy with the idea that the two are linked. It is, I understand, quite a common idea that holiness is boring; or, at least, doing the things that lead to holiness are. I know where this idea sort of comes from, but I've never really understood how it developed. From what I know, the idea is all to do with the idea of asceticism being the ultimate 'good'; and, even for those of us who still live in the world, the idea of self-denial being what holiness is all about. After all, one fruit of the Spirit is self-control, isn't it?

But self-control does not mean self-denial; not at all. In the same way that the word temperance has changed meaning - it originally meant 'moderation', now it is used to mean 'abstinence' (particularly from alcohol - another idea that the Bible doesn't teach) - there has been an overreaction in the direction of caution. People didn't want to teach grace as being completely unlimited, because it felt like there would be no incentive to grow, to change. Or something like that.

                                                     

As we know, or at least think we do, that God loves us, but doesn't want us to stay how we are, we want to co-operate; and we also want some sort of reassurance that we are doing the right thing, that we are 'getting it right'. And it's not so very far from there to coming up with rules and regulations; so that we may see how well we are doing - and how well others aren't. And that becomes a cage; it is restrictive, painful, annoying, and yes, boring.

That's not what God wants. He wants to give us life - a full life, an abundant life. And life means growth. We can't be perfect straight away, just like we can't be fully grown immediately - but the idea is that we can and will grow into full maturity. However long that takes. And one thing we can be sure of is that it will take longer than we would like it to. Growing is something that takes a loong time sometimes, and it's not entirely in our control - but we can encourage it to grow the way we want to grow. By what we eat and how (much) we exercise, for example. And what we do spiritually has exactly the same effect. That's what holiness is all about in the end. And, essentially, it is the end...

Eating, With Friends

I've had another week off, and I was hoping to meet up with friends during the week. I was semi-successful in meeting this aim.

The week started off well with a thankyou BBQ at the new house of some friends. I was among those who helped them move in in some way, so I was invited to the BBQ they decided to do to thank people. I actually felt a bit embarrassed about it, cos it wasn't exactly any trouble for me to offer the little help I did, and I enjoyed spending some time with them. However, I always enjoy spending time with them, so I happily went along. And it was another great occasion - as all the BBQs I've been at this summer have been. The weather was great, the company better, and it was just a really nice way to relax. And definitely a good start to the week.
And the Monday was good in this way too. I managed to catch up with a friend I hadn't really seen for a while, except in passing. He also has a cineworld card, so I mentioned about going to the cinema. He was up for that, so I suggested grabbing something to eat - our cards give us discounts in certain places. So we ended up having something to eat. Eating is good.

And most of the rest of the week was pretty much quiet. I hardly saw anyone else all week - though I did leave the house a few times. It meant I had a lot of time for thinking and reflection; so I did. I thought and I reflected. I meditated on things. Several subjects, but so far have come to no conclusions. And I tried to write blog posts, but I only managed one. Why that was so difficult, I don't know. Maybe I needed the time to think, but I'm sure I would have enjoyed talking it through with people more.

And on the Saturday, I got the chance to talk to someone else. Another friend I haven't seen for so long that I can't actually remember when it last was. And I'm not going into the reasons why, but suffice to say we've tried to meet up several times this year and it just hadn't worked. Until yesterday. Which was wonderful. It was great to see him again, and also great to have an absolutely amazing long rambling conversation about all sorts of (very) random topics, both serious and silly. More silly than serious, I have to admit. We both like being silly - there's not enough silliness in life, I think. And it's important. Being able to be silly in company and having the chance to do it doesn't happen often enough. I can't speak for everyone, but I think most people would probable agree that they could do with more silliness in their lives. Wouldn't it be great to know that most relationships and meeting up with people would definitely involve seriousness and silliness - that wherever you go, whoever you meet, silliness is on the agenda. And that knowledge of silliness giving you the security to know that seriousness is possible...

Brilliant Bechdel!

Well, after seeing another film a few day ago ('Lucy'), it particularly made me think about the Bechdel Test. Named after Allison Bechdel, a cartoonist who came in at number 4 in Rolling Stone's recent list of best non-superhero cartoons; someone who was interested in feminism and gender politics - and good storytelling. And I thought it was about time I did a slightly intellectual post, after the last one.

So, now you know who Ms Bechdel is, what is her test? It was a piece from her book 'Dykes To Watch Out For', and it's a simple thing to see how female friendly a piece of entertainment is; mainly applied to films, it asks 3 questions. Is there more than one named female character? Do they speak to each other? About something other than a man? Which seems simple enough. But it's amazing how many films don't match up. By the way, by 'female friendly' I don't mean whether women might enjoy it; but rather, how positive an image of women does it promote.
                                                                 

Just think for a moment about the last couple of films you saw, and ask these questions. How does it stack up? The last couple of films I saw just about pass - I say 'just about' because both of them had minimal female characters. GOTG had 3 that I remember, and Lucy had 2 - unless you count her mum, who 'appears' once in a phone call. And these are films that actually pass. Quite a lot don't. The Avengers doesn't, for instance - although there are 3 strong named female characters (only one a superhero), they don't ever speak to each other, even when they share screen time.

But as this article acknowledges, the test isn't perfect - it has flaws. At least two that I can think of. One is that it's posssible to pass with literally a couple of lines of dialogue; and the other, just the opposite. That, as The Avengers shows, it is possible to have strong female characters and still fail. And there's also the point that dialogue doesn't reflect conversation - we generally are only shown what we need to see to follow the story. Which is why pretty much all rom-coms would probably fail. It would be a pretty bad rom-com where female characters didn't talk about the male character; though it could be possible.

However, I think the main point isn't that if a film fails this test, then it's not female friendly, not promoting a positive image of women; but rather, just that so many fail. It seems a pretty simple enough test; so, why do so many fail? What does that say about society? About us? And what can be done about it?

Comedies (With Tragedies)

I saw a couple of films at the cinema last week - it's about time I got round to doing that again. and they were both great.

I took my niece on Wednesday to see How To Train Your Dragon 2:-

and I went with some friends on Saturday to watch Guardians Of The Galaxy:-

both of which I recommend - they're great. They have a lot in common too - they're very colourful and silly, with lots of explosions and lots of unusual creatures. I mean, let's face it, dragons are pretty rare.
But they have other things in common too; a more serious side. Which wasn't really something you'd expect from films like this. Not that that's a bad thing; it definitely made them better films, in my opinion. They both showed the importance of family, and that family isn't just who you're born to; they both deal with loss, and love, and loyalty; they both have taking responsibility as part of growing (up); and they both show how important (good) relationships are. And that they aren't based on similarity or appearance - or, at least, don't have to be...

Take Note - An Interlude

Some things God said to me at church tonight. The first thing was to Take Note - God Is Interested In You. Not in a sort of scientist studying a fascinating and obscure specimen way; but that He wants to encourage you. He wants you to remember that He is for you, that He has your best interests in mind, and He wants to guide you into that future. He knows your potential, and He wants to encourage you that you can give more, do more and be more than you dreamed you could. Especially be more. He wants you to remember that.

That was at the beginning of a talk on grace. Grace is all about God reaching out to us, searching for us before we even thought about Him. And keeping on doing that. But it means more than that. He doesn't just want to stay at at distance, He wants to get close to us, and us to get close to Him. As Adrian Plass has said, it was easy for him to think that God loved him, but that didn't really mean much - after all, that's sort of His job. But what really helped him, was when he came to the understanding that, as he put it, God is nice and He likes me. So remember, God Is Nice, And He Likes You.

And the other thing He said was about promises. He wanted people to know that what He has promised, both generally and specifically, are real. He wanted to remind them of the promises, and underline them. He has not forgotten. I don't know what it is He has promised you, but He does and you do - He has not forgotten.

So, take note and remember...

Not Really About Robin Williams

By this point, anyone reading this will know the sad news of the death of Robin Williams on Monday. You may have seen or heard it on the news, but you've definitely seen and heard it on the internet. All over the place. On blogs and all over social media everywhere.

And if you've seen that, then you must have seen the massive outpourings of grief that followed this news. The same sort of reaction that follows whenever someone famous dies (well, almost). The sort of reaction that I just don't understand. And will never understand. Just to be clear here, I know that this is my issue - I am somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and this is something I will always have difficulty processing. I just point that out to show that this is something that doesn't come naturally to me.

So, why does this happen? I think that the tribute paid to Robin by his daughter gives us a clue.She said that he was one of the kindest, most generous souls... and that the world is forever darker, less colourful and with less laughter now he is gone. This is the same for everyone, but some people do appear to shine more brightly than most. And that reflected light is how we are supposed to look at the world - so let's not leave it until it's too late; untill the light goes out.
I tried thinking about how I might feel when someone famous I really like might go at some point. Like my favourite musicians:-

For those of you who are unfamiliar with them, they are Alice Cooper, Dolly Parton and Steve Taylor, none of whom I am likely to meet in this lifetime - but they are all Christians, so it's not totally out of the question that I may well meet them in the next. So I have the hope that when they pass on from this world, that won't be the end of the story for them. So I would be sad, but not devastated. I would miss their music; but, again, I have the hope that they won't stop making music...

Meghan Tonjes Is Fat (Oh And Gorgeous, By The Way)

This is Meghan Tonjes (pronounced as spelt). If you don't know who she is, she's a singer/songwriter and vlogger from Los Angeles who posts a lot of videos on youtube. Some of her singing, and some of her talking about things. All sorts of things, but a lot about things to do with self image and self confidence. And she started a youtube channel dedicated to the same idea called Project Lifesize. Also, she's appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show.

So, she's been quite busy over the last few years. And up until recently, I'd never heard of her. What I heard about first was the controversy over this photo, which she put up on her Instagram page as part of a series detailing her weight loss journey. Which got taken down. No warning, no explanation, except to say that someone had complained that it was 'offensive'. Whatever that meant - as I said, there was no explanation. I must admit I was puzzled, because I couldn't see anything particularly outrageous about it - it looks like hundreds of other photos that get put up every day on social media.

But she figured she knew why, and put up this video saying what she thought:-

And when I watched it, I thought 3 things. First, I thought she had a great smile, and was/is very pretty. Second, I thought that she's actually pretty smart as well. She has a problem, and she puts it across well without shouting or throwing a tantrum - which is getting quite rare on the internet these days. And, third, I noticed just a few musical instruments in the background. Reading the article again was when I registered that she is, as I said, a singer/songwriter, so I looked her up on youtube. Where this video comes from. And listened to a few of her songs - and then a few more. And watched some of her other F.A.T. (Frequently Asked Tonjes) videos, like this one. Well worth watching, all of them.

And, after that, I was pleased, annoyed, and challenged. Pleased because I'd found another good musician, annoyed that I hadn't found her before, and challenged because it made me wonder. How often do I behave like that? I didn't find that picture particularly outrageous, as I said, but how often do I respond to something that's essentially harmless as if it's really a problem. I don't know the answer, except to say 'too often'. And, also, how do I respond when someone else has a problem with me - do I respond as well as she did? Something to think about, I think - and keep thinking about. And working on changing. So I'm following her on youtube now. Not because I think she's attractive, though she is; but because she has a great voice, and she says things I could do with listening to.

By the way, Instagram restored her picture, and apologised. But they still didn't give an explanation, except to say that they 'sometimes get it wrong'. Hmm.

So, here's another few photos of her

 

Love, Friendship, Trust

I went to a wedding a few days ago, which was wonderful, and the minister gave a talk on love. Unsurprising, really. And it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before; but it is worth thinking about.

He started with some quotes about love and marriage, including this one:-

Which is, apparently, very well known - though it's a bit of a surprise who said it. Not a guy well known for saying positive sounding things. And this is positive, because he's not only diagnosing a problem (unhappy marriages), he's also providing a solution (friendship). A straightforward, common sense view of how marriage should work - a lot of people go on about love being what marriage is all about, and they mean romance/feeling good; but it's a lot more than that.
He did actually talk about romance as well, but he was absolutely for the idea that love is more than that. Things like sharing and forgiving, that are vital parts of any relationship. So, I started thinking about my friends and how I could better love them, be a better friend.

And a few days later (yes, the wedding was during the week), the talk about church was about being friends with Jesus - or about Him being friends with us, as He said He would be. And the important point of the talk was that friendship involves trust. Both that it is a place where trust can grow, and that trust is needed for the relationship to grow. And what applies to our relationship with Him applies similarly to all our friendships...

Barbecue Season!

I recently read 'Treasure Island' for the first time, and saw one of the characters, the ship's cook, was called Barbecue (though he's better known by another name*), which made me think two things. One was to wonder what his cooking was like, and the other was to realise that I'd been to quite a few barbecues this year.

Now, obviously, Summer is the time to have barbecues if you're going to have them (though I know someone who will happily have them all year round), but I don't normally get to that many. I don't know why, if everyone's having them - and I don't know why I've managed to get to a few more this time.

The first ones I went to were in May, which I suppose isn't really Summer, but it was good weather, so why not? One was for a friend's birthday, and that was a really great occasion - a good time was had by all, inside as well as out. It was a real celebration, and I surprised myself by writing a poem about it.
And I got invited to another that month. It was at short notice, but I always appreciate being invited places, so I managed to get there. I was a bit nervous, because I didn't know how many people there I would know. But it actually turned out to be one of the best occasions I've been to for quite some time. There were only a few of us, but we all got on really well - lots of fun and laughter.

And I guess it was really that one that made me definitely decide to host one myself. I'm not good at hosting things, as I'm really bad at organising; but we have a barbecue, so I thought I'd give it a go. My housemate said it was all down to me, but I didn't realise until a couple of days before that he meant he wasn't going to be there. Which left me in a bit of a quandary, as I hadn't used a barbecue for years, and I'm a vegetarian, so I don't really know what cooking meat is like. However, I'd started it, so I meant to do it, so I figured I'd just have to figure something out on the day. I got in a few bits and pieces, like crisps and dips and some meat - and fuel, obviously - and waited to see who would turn up. I got a bit of a surprise when a friend I hadn't heard from in a while phoned me and came over, but that was good, as he then took over the barbecue - which left me free to welcome people and do drinks, as well as make a fruit salad. Which I thought would be easy enough, and it was. All in all, it kind of reminded me of my birthday party, which also worked out a lot better than I thought it might before, and had a surprising mix of people - who all got on really well. Maybe I just know a lot of very nice people.

And afterwards, I was left with a load of food - which was a problem, as most of it was meat. More than my housemate could eat, and I don't; but thankfully, another friend was having a barbecue the weekend after, so I passed a lot of it on to him. And that was the next barbecue I went to. Which was totally different to any of the others, mainly due to it being much bigger. Which meant I got to see other friends I hadn't seen for ages. And, surprisingly, ended up talking theology - which is something I don't get to do enough of, in my opinion. But something may have come out of that conversation which could change that. A bit, anyway.

Which brings me more or less up to date. There were a couple last weekend just gone, which were also good occasions where I spent time with friends I hadn't seen for a while - which definitely seems to be what barbecues are for. And at one of them I got a birthday invitation and an invitation to a prayer meeting; both of which I happily accepted, and am looking forward to. Friendships and God, what more could anyone want? And, if that's what barbecues have in store for me, I look forward to what might happen at the next ones, whenever they may be...

*By the way, Barbecue you may well know better as Long John Silver.

Be More Dog!

You may have seen some ads for a phone company with this slogan, and the idea (I think) that being a dog means being more enthusiastic about life. Now whether or not you agree with this, that's what I took from the ad - so when God pointed it out to me, and told me to do just that, I wondered if that was what He meant. What does it mean to be more doglike than catlike (and what does that have to do with mobile phones)?

This was the first thing that came to mind:-

Now I'm pretty sure I don't consciously go around with the attitude that I am God; but, I have to acknowledge that I tend to lean towards thinking I know best, and that things should be done my way. Not all the time, but enough to make sure that I don't put God in His rightful place at all times. Is it that attitude that leads to a lack of trust, or a lack of trust that leads to that attitude - or both leading to each other?

But the thing that really inspired this post was going out on with Street Teams last night and seeing some of the guys with their dogs. A couple of them who have had dogs for years now have several pups who are old enough to come out with them - we didn't really see them for several weeks just around when they were born - and watching the pups made me think about this subject again.

The first thing was obvious, which was that they didn't really stop moving, especially the pups. They were pretty loud, all of them, and that is clearly showing that they are interested in life; curious about everything, and interested in it all. And, also clear was the fact that dogs are very much family animals - whether it was with the other dogs or any of the people who were there, they seemed to prefer spending time with someone rather than being on their own. One in particular, called Otis, just never seemed to stop moving, going from one person (or dog) to another.

So, from that, I guess I can conclude that being interested in life and company is A Good Thing - and one of the things God wants me to be more like. But there were a couple of other things as well. One is that although most of the pups looked alike, they were clearly all different; quite varied in personality. And the other is that they seemed to be pretty much always hungry. Which means, I guess, that God wants me to be more enthusiastic about life, and hungry for the things of God, searching them out wherever they can be found.

I'll just leave you with this video:- and, remember, Be More Dog!